"I'm not crazy..."
 

I wrote this some time ago, and thought it would be good to share here.

I'm not crazy.....I just need to be loved.

I'm not crazy.....I just want to be loved.

I may look, or sound, crazy, and I may have a diagnosis and take medication that might make you think I am crazy, should you have such narrow minded and stigmatised views of human suffering....but really, I've simply had a rough life, where I had to hide my real self away to survive. But I've never really lived.

I may behave like I'm crazy sometimes, and sometimes when people see me as crazy, their misunderstanding actually makes me more so. But, instead, if you listen to me and have patience, if you let me into your world, I might let you into my world, and the pain that exists there, the pain and the longing.
When I behave crazy, it usually is because I'm experiencing a dissociative flashback, and something from my shadow filled past is haunting me and not letting me go, not letting me be safe in the world now.
But.....I could come back to you and your world if you just be a little gentle and kind to me, and not laugh at me or throw back insults. You would see that I don't want to hurt or hate you really, you would see how I am just like you...I just need a little warmth and humanity....
Misunderstanding is human, and I am struggling to come to terms with my past and rebuild some personality so I can be here with you in the present. If you help me understand, and demonstrate by your treatment of me that I am a worthwhile human being, then I will no longer be that crazy woman, I will be a woman who is becoming alive.

Katherine,

That is a beautiful post and you are not crazy you may struggle with depression/anxiety but you aren't crazy and people take meds for all sorts of physical disabilities and many take them for mental health too. That certainly doesn't make you crazy none at all!!!

Thanks Tru.

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I hope also in my posting this that it might reach others who need it.

Of course you're not crazy. *hugs*

Oh god i was so hopin you were crazy! AM i the only one that IS? Eeeep! lol

I think thats lovely!

*big hugs and some jelly tots*

Matthew xxx

That was beautiful. It's good you are sure of yourself, I know I'm not. I question my sanity every moment of every day. :)

heartwrenchingly beautiful.

Thank you....

I know this is very very old.
But it deserves a re-viewing. I think.

Thank you, Katie, for bumping and writing this. Your words speak into my head and I'm sure many others. I am lucky (?) in that a lot of my outside 'crazy actions' have been contained in a hospital environment but not all - and I have had the stares and hurt.

You have an extraordinary way of both communicating with words and feelings and an understanding of yourself and your needs. That is very precious.

Thank you. I feel a little less crazy now.

Love Miranda. x

Completely understand this!

Maybe you really are crazy.
But we all are; and that´s not wrong with this.

Beautiful, true and so well written.
Thank you for sharing this xx

That was really lovely. Thank you for writing that and bumping it.

Thankyou for posting Katie =]