Therapy
 

I had first half of assessment last week and it was totally differant from what I expected. Non of the usual questions as to my childhood or schooling or teens work etc etc.
It was all about what I wanted from therapy and how to go about it.

Today it was much the same, 2nd part of assessment. Asking what I wanted from it and how I thought I would be etc.
She asked if I wanted to focus how I was when I was really bad, like the concern over my suicidal thoughts and self destructiveness etc I said no, I wanted to focus on handling the situ that got me into that thought process and learn how to stop the fall.

Then she said that ot seemed I spent a lot of time in my head, which I guess is very true.

She said if she offered me therapy she didn't want us going round in circles and repeating stuff. That is was about moving on, which is what I want and need.

So my homework for the week is to figure out or least think about how to go about things without going in circles and keep to a line going ahead. I kinda know what she means but I am struggling to think on this one.
How can I keep going forward? This therapy is a learning thing fo rme also and I think that the going forward is to be learnt.

Also I need to show her that therapy is working so despite it being hard work I need to prove that it is benefiting me. I'm worried I will fail.

I have 6 sessions (for next 6 weeks) to see how it goes and then it will be disscussed if it is right to carry on.

It seems I got a hard work and proving to do.

BUT I am also worried. I want help desperatly. But not with the ED. And that could be my downfall. I want help with SI/OD, OCD, depression, anxiety etc. Just not anorexia. Not yet.

in my own opinion, there's no such thing as a bad client for therapy but there can be bad therapy, so don't go thinking in terms of failure by you

if you are honest about how difficult you're finding this task (such as, its a bit abstract and you can't find a starting point to work on) then your therapist should be able to give you some scope

i would say how hard your finding the task, sometimes you just need someone to give you an example or a starting point. it seems quite an abstract question. one way to keep moving in a line, is just to make a real effort to implement the things that you learn. simple as that sounds!
dont worry about failing, you sound like your ready for the help and to move forward. and i hope it works for you. xxx

i agree with the above responses and i agree with your assessment of what moving forward is. if one only moved forward and never slipped up, one would never learn to be different.

something i agree with in moving forward:

The following content has been hidden - Reason : a little story

Autobiography in Five Chapters

I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.
II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V
I walk down another street.
- Portia Nelson

xxx

Don't worry about failing. Just be committed and do your best. This isn't about how well you do or don't do, its about whether this therapeutic approach is right for you. There are so many different therapies and not all approaches are the right fit for everyone. If you aren't moving forward with one then it makes sense to try a different one. Hopefully this one is a good fit for you though, it sounds like it is. I think some of the most important things are that you are committed and want to get better, which you seem to. Good luck.

Whirlpools I like that little story, it is great and so true!

Thank for responces, I am still thinking about it am spending more time in head to think about it all!