RYL Forums - I'm going to beat this.

For once, in a long while, I am positive. I don't quite know how, really, but I woke up this morning and actually wanted to get out of bed! My head has been everywhere in the last couple of years. I was so confused. I had no plan for the future.

A plan has formed in my head in the last couple of days. Tomorrow, I start college to do a fast-track A-Level Mathematics, which I was convinced I was going to fail. (Part of me still thinks that, but I suppose it's hard to get negative thoughts out of your head when you haven't achieved anything and haven't been happy for two years.) I am going to try hard, and I know it is still going to be hard for me if I don't get 100% in my exam (I'm a perfectionist and get really annoyed if I don't get perfect grades, because I think I've failed) but I know it won't be the end of the world. I can always try again.

I am talking to a volunteering agency at the moment, and they are going to link me up with a charity that helps homeless people learn how to read and write. I'm interested in doing some volunteering for them because I like to help people, and I'm pretty sure I can use my skills in this area. I also like to talk to people, and apparently there are plenty of people there who just want somebody to talk to.

I'm in touch with Social Services and they are going to help find me a flat of my own. I'm finally going to be moving out of my parents' house! They must be sick of me by now, really, so it'll be good for them and good for me.

I've been working out my plan for the future for a good couple of weeks. I plan to do as said above, then get a summer job and enrol on a computer course (Computer Programming, I think) at Kendal College either in September or early January (the place where I'm doing my A-Level Mathematics, it depends on if I do fast-track or not really). Then after that computer course is over, I want to get a summer job again and then when summer comes to an end, I plan to leave the country and go to Italy, New Zealand and America over the next couple of years. My plan ends with me moving abroad, which will be a good thing for me. I need to get out of Britain... all it's done to me is upset me. I hate watching the news, I don't particularly like criminals like my brother (a young offender) and to be perfectly honest with you, I'm bored. I've seen everything Britain has to offer. I'm ready for bigger - and better - things.

On Friday I have an appointment with the Mental Health Team to assess my emotional needs, and I have an appointment with a dietician in February who knows a lot about Bulimia. So I'm finally getting what I have been wanting for two years... help. It couldn't come at a better time.

I am going to beat this depression. I am going to beat Bulimia... and I am going to lead the happy life I deserve.

:hop: