Erm... yeah. Feelings... can you tell me how I feel??
 

Hi everyone... I need to try and get out all my feelings and thoughts. I can't cope with them inside anymore.

My boyfriends great-Grandma died on the 3rd January, along with his step-Grandad. The funeral of his great-Grandma was today. I couldn't be with my boyfriend to support him. I'm stuck in Spain on a year abroad where the uni work is going shockingly bad!!!

I feel so guilty for not being there... especially since the funeral of his step-Grandad is on Tuesday. I want to give him a hug. I need a hug. Sorry... that's selfish I know.

I feel lost. Numb... I don't know how I feel. I want someone to tell me how I feel. I can't work it out. My eyes keep filling up with tears, but I don't have the right to cry. Why should I have the right to cry and feel upset when I couldn't even make it over to England to support my boyfriend?? I hate uni for that!

I dunno... I feel sad. I need a hug... I need someone to tell me it will all be ok... but I'm not sure it will. I'm a mess.

*hugs* it's not your fault you can't be in England and I'm sure he knows that as well. The best thing you can do is be strong for him, I know it's difficult but you can do it. *sends more hugs*

You are allowed to be upset too hun. It's gonna affect you too.

I'm sure your boyfriend understands why you can't come home. Try not to beat yourself up.

xxx

its ok, your allowed to greive them. it was really upsetting when my ex's grandpa died. and its ok to feel it.
i'm sure your boyfriend understands that you cant come home. not being able to be there with him must be hellish.
*hugs you tightly*
stay strong and take care of yourself.
xxx

aw hun hug there apart of your life too as you care for your bf and you know him and you know he is hurting and you want to be there to surport him i can understand that

im sure your bf understands sweetie and you would be there if i could he knows that sweeite and you need to get out what your feeling too

please feel free to pm me anytime

hugs midnight