I really need advice
 

SO I just got an e-mail from my father-in-laws girlfriend explaining why he doesn't like me... and I have replied and stuff. I'm not upset or angry just... lost a bit. But I'm just wondering if people think I should let it go and leave it alone or if I should do something???? SO... here is the e-mail and stuff.

Hi Jess,

Now please don't shoot the messenger I have nothing at all against you in fact what I did see of you I really liked and I think Anthony is a very lucky man and I can see why he wanted to keep you for himself by marrying you.

I don't know why or when it started but Blue has just decided that he doesn't like you. As you said you suspected it and so did Anthony. I think it may have been something that happened when he went down there before last xmas when Anythony was really bad. Then from there it's just got worse. He thinks you have done everything you can to seperate Anthony from his sibblings ie: He still doesn't believe what you said happened between Ticcy and Melly even though Melly is going through some **** with him now and Blue has seen it for himself. Then you and Anthony moving in with your grandmother away from Melly and sometimes peter and heath. I personally think it was probably a good move With the mental probs anthony has been suffereing he didn't need the extra burdon of worrying about his sibblings who are all old enuff to take care of themselves, and if they weren't able to take care of themselves it's not anthony's responsibility to take care of them it is Blue and Angela's. I have nothing at all against you jessica and I would really like to get to know you better I am sorry about the day of the lunch but there were only two people there that I really knew one being blue the other being anthony and strange as it may seem I am a very shy person, plus like I said to you I hadn't had any sleep for about a week leading up to us coming down there and then all the time we were down there I didn't sleep well either. Melly has probably told you I spent most nites at their place on the couch in the lounge so I wouldn't keep blue awake with my hot flushing and my bad back. and with all the stress blue had been putting on me because he didn't think the marriage was a good idea etc I just felt it was better to sit quietly and not upset him. He isn't a nice person when he get's angry and you think he was rude to you well jess that was nothing compared to wot he can be like he was a positive gentleman that day believe me. I am not saying that to scare you don't think that for a minute I am just pointing out that he was actually being quite nice that day for Anthony's sake basically I guess he really didn't want to be there other than to spend some more time with Anthony and probably Angela. It was actually really nice sitting on the opposite side of the table to you and Anthony and watching you interact with each other you are both obviously very much in love with each other and I hope it stays that way for you for a very long time. I think that is part of wot's going on with blue since we got back he had convinced himself that Anthony didn't love you and that he only thought he loved you and seeing you interacting together as you did that day made him realise that he had it wrong that you were both very much in love with each other.. Anyway I have rambled on long enough. Please keep in touch and let me know how you and Anthony are getting on although I am not an actual parent to either of you I think of Anthony as one of mine and hence you also.

All my love
Mirrigan


Thanks darlings!

some people just don't like us, for little to no reason. there's nothing we can do about it.

All we can do is try and deal with it the best we can.

Have you told Anthony about it? If so, what is his take on this all? If not, is that what you are wondering if you should tell him?

By the way, your father-in-law's girlfriend seems really nice.

having problems with your in-laws stinks. I am sorry. It sounds like anthony's family is having a lot of problems. It may just be that Anthony's dad doesn't want to put blame on his children or himself for any of the problems and is looking for anything else that could be the culprit. Either he will realize that you and anthony are a package deal or not. Try not to worry too much about what he thinks. I persoanlly would talk to anthony about the email and after he weighs in think about keeping contact with his dad's girlfriend. Anthony's dad may not want to be in direct contact with you but I am sure he wants to know how you and his son are doing. Keeping the line of communication open even if it is in a roundabout way is something that is good. I hope things work out. ((hugs))

haha, I forgot about this >.<

I sent the e-mail to my mum and to Anthony. My mum said that anthony's dad sounds like he has the same sort of problems with paranoia that anthony has and on top of that he's an alcoholic... so the best thing to do, is keep talking and being polite and being who I really am and eventually he will just suck it up and get over it. *nods*

Anthony didn't read the e-mail and after i'd sent it to him I asked him not to. because that could be seen as trying to come between him and his dad. So i've left it and i'm more less okay with it. :)

Thanks guys :)

Glad you are ok. I hope things between you and his Dad improve. I think you are being really mature about the situation *squishes* x

I would just distance myself from him. If it gets to the point where he does start saying hurtful things to you, then I think you should tell Anthony. Otherwise just refuse to talk to him. I refuse to talk to family members that are arseholes too.

Mirrigan seems like a good person...mostly because she sees what a good person you are immediately! This looks like one of those situations that you can't win (with his dad) because that other person is so self-absorbed, unfortunately. But I bet Anthony knows his dad's limitations, and with his help, you'll be able to see through it eventually. You never know why another person feels like they have to act like that. He's treating you like ****, but if you can take it, do. Because you're an amazing person, and everyone seems to see it but him...majority rules?
I hope you can see through this and not take it too much to heart.
*hugs* and lot of love

D'Arcy