Befriender?
 

I got asked if I was interested in having a befriender today by my keyworker, she said it would be someone around my age (I'm 18, so I'm guessing they'd be a bit older as I doubt many 18 year-olds are befrienders to MH service users) who could see me. I said yes, I was interested, as I suppose there's no harm finding out about it and stuff.
I was just wondering if anyone here has a befriender, or has had one before? Was it useful? What kind of things could they/did they do with you? How often do they see you?
Also, do you get a choice as to male/female, can they match you with someone with the same interests as you, or do you just get stuck with the first person on their "list"?
Thanks for any responses :)

I'm sorry I don't have any answers to your questions but just wanted to say this sounds like a really good idea. At uni I have a peer supporter which is a similar idea and I find it really helpful.

Do you think your key worker might know some of the answers to your questions?

x

She probably would, I know, but I had a very difficult meeting with her today where I basically mouthed off about their team and how I want my old team back (just transferred from CAMHS to CMHT- child to adult services), and I'm not really up to asking her much. I'm just planning on one word answers next time I see her to get it over and done with since I know she wants to get me out of the meeting just as much as I want to!
Sorry if this is a pointless thread.
I just wanted to hear about other people's experiences.
I'm really really sorry.

just from what ive saw on tv, you can request somoene of either gender if you want and they usually try to pair you with someone who has the same intrests.

when and how often you meet is really down to how many hrs they are volentering though, so it could be once a week, more or less.

She may not wish to get out of the meeting as quickly as you do, what makes you think that?
Maybe if you don't feel able to speak to her, try writing down the questions?
Try and give your new team a chance, they may not be as good as your previous team but it's certainly worth trying your best to engage with them so you stand the best chance of them helping you.

I have never had a befriender who is the same age as me but I have had mentors which I guess are pretty similar. I found it helpful because you could just chat about anything and so on. I also think they would try and pair you with the person they saw most appropriate, rather than just picking someone at random although of course they have to make sure the person most suited to you can also give you the right amount of support etc. With my mentor, I used to go out for coffee/walks/cinema etc.

I don't think this is a pointless post at all. It's great that you want to hear others' experiences and please don't apologize for that!

xxx

My housemate volunteers as a befriender. You can choose which friend you get chosen with if one isn't working out. They do pretty much what you want to do. Cinemas, bowling or just a coffee, you don't have to tell them anything but you can if you want they just help you get out of the house. I've met quite a lot of the people that he works with and they are all really lovely people. Your not obligied to do things but if you want you can.

I have offered to be a befriender. I receive the training soon. Its basically people looking to go into social care etc or any sort of care work. They place you with someone of your own age... similar hobbies etc. And you generally hang out.. Talk about things. Generally you grow a bond. I dont believe theres a time limit on how often you see them :) They put you with someone who they think matches your personality, your hobbies and interests and age ofc :)

Hope that helps a bit ! *hugs*
xxx

Thank you everyone, you're very very kind.
:)
And to Tinkerbelle ("She may not wish to get out of the meeting as quickly as you do, what makes you think that?")-
I just know that she really hates me because I know I've been rude to her and nobody should have to deal with me like that. She just really hates me. Everyone I've worked with through MH services hate me for a very long time and only some of them end up finding me bearable so I guess I'm used to it.
Sorry.
I don't mean to be self-pitying here at all.
(Also I know I've gone rather off-topic but I just needed to answer that question.)
Thank you again to everyone
xxxx

I had a Befriender through Mind.

I've also been a Befriender through a similar organisation in East London.

I had a befriender when I was 16 and am about to be supported by an assistant psychologist. I found it helpful, even just getting out for a couple of hours once a week. You'll be likely to agree on things that you'd like to do such as going to the cinema or bowling. I don't know if you get to choose your befriender but they do tend to match people well and if you feel uncomfortable around the person then you can let someone know.

On the point of being a bit older .... they may not be older by that much, my mate is only 20 so they can relate quite a lot. Hope it goes well

I hope that it goes well. Its a good idea.