OMG! I feel so good..NOT!!
 

It feels like im on a ****ing emotional rollercoaster again
Something has gone wrong
It shouldnt be like this....I was recovering....wasnt I?
Suicidal feeling are coming back with vengence
Im either really high or really low....no inbetween
Whats happened?
Where has it all gone so horribly wrong?

I don't know if it has necessarily gone horribly wrong sweetie. I think ups and downs are probably part of 'recovery'. You have been doing really really well but there are bound to be down times. Can you speak to your psych or therapist to try and get some control back over how you are feeling? Please don't panic, I think you are making progress and was so so proud and happy to read your post the other day, this does NOT have to mean a complete relapse hun *hugs*. Please try and be strong and take care, you know where my PM box is x

I think Emma is right... unfortunately ups and downs are often part of the recovery process... definitely not fun at all :(
Please take care and be safe! If you need to talk feel free to pm me.
*hugs*

sometimes, we tend to think a good day means great things and then something small goes a little wrong, we worry about stepping back.

when we step back even further to look at the whole picture though, you will see life is not turning on you it is turning for you. the small setbacks make you grow stronger, make you see that you are strongerr than you think you are!

Love you,
Rain

The others are right, the downs happen in recovery too, but that doesn't mean you've lost ground, just that you need to be kind to yourself.

Did anything happen to make you feel worse?

I said this to rainy in her thread. To slip back, means you have to be moving forward. *cuddles* hold on honey, you'll keep moving forward.

its still alot of work ahead rowie bird.
youre on the right track...keep trudging.
i believe in you with all my heart.
love you bunches.
xxxx

How are you feeling now Rowie? *hugs*

hey ribena. miss you terribley. im so glad you have come so far, i knew you could do it, just like i know you can get through this and carry on. you've seen the light and have been drawn mothlike into it, you've been fighting to get at it and just because day has broken and the light is off and it's time for bed, doesn't mean that the light will go back on when night comes again.

love you mand x

It's been a while since we spoke, but I'm sorry you're feeling so low.
You are doing well and nothing can take away from that. You will continue to do well because you're fighting so hard to keep it all at bay.
I have such belief in you and I know everybody else does too.

We're always here if you need us, slipping up doesn't mean stepping back.
You have it within you to keep trudging on, two steps forward one step back. You're still ahead!

That didn't make as much sense aloud as it did in my head but I think you understand what I mean.
Look after yourself,
Iz x

Thankyou.

Things have stabalised somewhat now.
My meds have been increased and this time of year is bad for me. Its when my son was diagnosed with cancer, and although its not at the forefront of my mind anymore, I guess it can play havoc with me and my thoughts....hence my moodswings.

I am learning to fight back and I am learning to read my emotions before they take hold of me and become destructive. I look forward to what the new year may bring.

Much love to all xx

I am so happy to read those last two sentences Rowie. I am glad things have stabilised for you now. You came through it, and if it happens again this should be proof you can beat it.

Congratulations! I look forward to reading about what the new year brings for you. You know where my PM box is if you want to chat xx

*snuggles*