Is she interested?
 

Hi, needing a little help at the moment, maybe I don't deserve much as I am often 'lurking' around here but never post much...

Anyway, basically I met this women (she is 25 and I am 23) a month ago through work - she has just started there. And we definitely have a connection, we get on well have a lot in commen and make each other laugh. We are both quite flirty with each other (her more so) but she will also make fun of me quite a lot, in a playful jokey way but it can get a little annoying.

We haven't explicitly spoken about the possibility of a relashionship (though I like her a lot) but she has already said (in passing) she isn't really ready for a relasionship at the moment and talks about her ex's quite a lot - which can be a bit annoying. She has also said she wouldn't go out with anyone younger than her - which I am! But then she has also said she may do if they were more mature (she hinted that that was someone such as me).

She is generally very hot and cold with me, for example yesterday she was very flirty and we were getting on great, today she was almost a polar opposite. It is becoming so frustrating, I was a bit stressed/annoyed and when I got home I unfortunately felt like I had to resort to SI! (which I had been good with of late)! As you can see, I am getting very mixed signals and am a touch confused to be honest. (This could be due to the fact she was apparantely messed around a lot by her last boyfriend-which has maybe left some emotional baggage or something).

But in the end I really like her and haven't felt this way about someone in a long time.

She is planning to come round to mine this weekend to just 'hang out' basically and watch a movie, so maybe something will happen then but I can be short of confidence sometimes and generally have low self esteem but hopefully I can muster up some confidence to show or tell her how I really feel!

Sorry i've gone on a bit but thank you for reading this far anyway and any advice you could give me would be great, because short of asking her directly i'm just, well, a bit stuck really.

Cheers

Darren

To me it sounds like she likes you, she is teasing you to try and get your attention.
Don't worry about the age thing, 2 years is nothing.
The hot and cold thing is really annoying but she probably testing the waters and could be nervous about you not liking her, perhaps you subconciously did not respond to her advances one day so she was upset the next (us girls work in mysterious ways).
I know it is hard but try not to be nervous when she comes round (very hard I know).
Enjoy your night.
*hugs*

Hey,

I probably don't know what I'm talking about being male because women are really the ones who will know more than anyone about what other women's behaviours mean. From what you tell me she seems too fickle and probably not someone you should get into a relationship with. How long have you known her? Do you know anything else of her past relationships ie. how long they lasted, why they failed etc. As a friend you can be there for her (and her baggage) but it can be a dangerous game trying to 'save' someone by getting into a relationship with them. I only say she sounds fickle because of you mentioning that she can be flirty one day then really cold the next. If you did get into a relationship with her, is she going to treat you the same way? When you said she wouldn't date anyone younger than her, my first thought was why bother with someone so shallow but if she accepts that you are muture enough for her then that is a good sign. To me age shouldn't matter as long as you're both adults and both comfortable with it - my wife is 33 and I'm 26! Has she been single very long? The fact that she talks about ex's a lot probably suggests that she still needs to let go. You really don't deserve to be used as a rebound partner and it's not good if she's carrying baggage from past relationships. She is probably right in saying that a relationship is probably not the best idea right now but she still may like you. If it were me, I would stay friends for now, maybe just have drinks after work or something and see what happens without 'officially' dating. If you do go out for a few dates and she appears to be clingy, then that is an early warning sign. That doesn't mean giving up completely on looking, she isn't the only single woman in the world! To answer your question, yes I think she does like you, but in my opinion I wouldn't be in a hurry to rush into anything serious because I think she may be unsure too (I could be wrong though). It's probably a question more for the ladies to answer than us men! Like Mary Anne has pointed out, girls work in mysterious ways sometimes. Be careful because they can also work in malicious ways, I doubt this is the case in your situation but just be careful too that she isn't playing games with you.

Thanks for your replys! I feel a lot better today, but still have a few anxieties about tonight!

I agree with what you both say about he age thing, to me 2 years is nothing and in the end it shouldn't matter if you like someone but anyway...

Mary Anne - the subconcious thing may makes sense actually, she did think she had annoyed me a bit then was a bit cold the next day, even though I reassued her we were fine!

In response to some of Arcangel's questions, I have known her for almost 2 months. I know that she really cared for her 1st boyfriend and they dated for a year and a half, they are still friends now, but don't really see each other, she said they broke up because she didn't think it would have lasted. Her last boyfriend she was with for two and a half years and he was apparantly was pretty horrible to her, they broke up like 2 years ago so she has been single quite a while but has said he messed her up a bit!


She has said I remind her a bit of her 1st boyfriend, (in terms of being 'nice and 'kind'), I wasn't sure if the comparison was neccessarily a good thing or not as she may be trying to replace him...

I get the impression she would like to take things slowly which would be fine with me but i'm just not sure, I want to talk to her about it all later but I'll see how things progress!

Darren, how are you going to feel working with her if things go sour? Ive been there and it stinks. Just a bit of caution.