bad day
 

why the hell did i have to get this flashbak today?
ive been doing so well and now all i wanna do is just slice my arm.
i could have handled it if it was the usual flashbak but its not...its the first time ive had a flashbak about my baby's dad...the pervert who raped me!!

now i cnt think of anything that would make me happier than to get rid of the baby.....but then he would have won right?
ive been so strong till now.....till this flashbak

and to be honest if i wanst at my gf then i would have done somethinbg by now....i know where her blades are......i could easily just go and get them and lock myself in the bathroom and cut.
it would be so much easier.......actually i will it will make me feel so much better maybe take the feeling of wanting rid of my baby away.....wouldnt it?

i just want to something to ease how im feeling now and if cutting is the only way then thats what ill do......

im sorry cosmo [baby] mum has to do this..........

I'm very sorry you're going through this, and I'm sorry you had to go through being raped.
I'm sure you know cutting yourself is only gonna help in the short term.
I'm here if you need to talk.

Nicolex

Im sorry you are having a tough time right now. Although, it may seem like it, cutting isnt the answer. It will help for a little bit but then youll be right back where you started with no new perspective. There are other ways to cope, there are better ways to cope. Talk to someone about it, write it down, yell and scream about it, whatever you have to do. Look at the Distraction Page in F&D.
You can get through this and you will. The thoughts and feelings will pass.
Think of it this way, out of something negative, horrible and ugly came something beautiful and innocent. Your baby needs you and it came for a reason. You were blessed. Look at the result instead of the cause.
Please stay safe. Stay strong. Im always here when you need to talk, rant, vent, whatever you need.

Kate xx

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