woo
 

I feel up and down and all over the place. My mind is racing but i want to cry. not thinking about horrible stuff or anything, just thinking about anything and everything. but i want to cry and i want to cut. if i cut then the little man in my head will stop running round in circles and i'll get some peace. i want to sleep but even if i sleep i'll have to wake up to feed the baby and i just want to sleep for hours and hours. if i cant sleep then i need to cut or i cant keep going. i hate this. i need to be able to start again, be set back to zero.

sorry sweetie I don't have anything for you. please try not to cut though, it won't help in the long run

*snuggles*

This will soon pass sweetheart xx

Hey honey,

I just wanted to let you know that I read this and I care. I may not have the best of advice, but I think for the short term, maybe some distraction would be good. A lighthearted entertaining movie or a video game or something.

Hope you're okay xx

I haven't got much to help you at the mo, just want to let you know that I care about you. Is there anyone who can take Harlen for you for a few hours, just so you can sleep undisturbed? A partner? Grandparent? Other relative you trust? That might give you the time you need, for a little while any way.
Is Harlen your first child? If he is then it's only understandable that things may be getting on top of you, it's a huge thing to do, and a huge achievement to get this far.
And I know he's a gorgeous baby. (I love the name too).

I watched something yesterday about new borns and their mums, and it recommended that Mum have some Mumtime, all to herself, and I can completely understand and recommend that. See what you can do about that, it might help a little.

Take care

Loz x

Yeah he's my first. I love him so much, it's just hard. Worth it all when he looks up at me and smiles though :-)