telling...
 

I told. I told people what my father did to me. One of the people I told is a person that referred me to counselling for my SH, and she wants me to tell the counsellor, but I can't. I didn't really tell her as such, my mate did, and I let a story tell my mate what was happening. I... I can't tell the counsellor. I lied. I told her there was no abuse in my past, let alone the sexual stuff. Since I told though, I keep getting flashbacks, panic attacks. Someone I met only recently had to hypnotise me the other day to get me to breathe again. I.... I can't do this. It was better when no-one knew. But... I've got to tell. I just... I don't know how to?

I don't know if it triggers, I'm too triggered by everything at the moment, so I put a label in case...

Hun you have done really well. The first step in the road to recovery is to break the silence and you have done it. There is a really good post in forums in how to help and slowly stop the flashbacks ill link it once I have finished. You arent alone and you have done the right thing. If you need to you can PM me.

*offers a hug*
Ill get the flashback link now hun

http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ad.php?t=52460

Read this, its really helpful

If you can tell people about your abuse, then you can tell your counsellor. If they know, they can work with you to help you get through this. It's hard, I know, but at least think about it as a possibility?

The flashbacks and everything can be frightening, but if you just take a step back, breathe deeply and try to relax, it'll make you feel a whole lot better.

Take care of yourself, and well done for telling,
Sarah x

Thanks guys. I spoke to the youth club leader last night, and she's told my counsellor the basic outlines of what happened, and... well, I think I can handle it from there, as long as I'm the one that doesn't have to bring it up.
That's the thing, I can answer the questions, mostly, but I can't bring it up.

Thanks for the flashback link, it's really helpful.

Wish me luck, although I'm feeling strangely positive about it, I think I may need it.

I'll update once I'm back.

Thanks again guys.

I'm really pleased things are going well for you. Keep me updated!

Take care,
Sarah x

Urgh, I don't know where things are going anymore. I realise none of you know the story, and I don't think I'm quite ready to share on here just at the moment, but anyways I digress.
My brother beat my father up the other day. He's in the hospital in intensive care, and they say he'll be lucky to survive the month. I don't know what to do though, because, well, I hate him for what he's done to me, yet there's some small part of me that actually still cares for him. I just... people keep telling me to go and visit him and that (I'm away at uni so I'd have to go home and everything) but... I don't think I can be in the same room as him. Even if he's not conscious. I just... I dunno what to do.