schizophrenia, mentions weight too
 

The first time I met somebody with schizophrenia I was afraid. I had heard stories of violence and rage, strange visions and personalities dangerous to get mixed up with. Never did I think that I too would touch the sensations of pyschosis and be diagnosed with schizophrenia. That was before the tears came, before the fear, deep fear of everything around me. Was it being raped in Paris or was it lying in bed with my father that turned my world upside down and ran my body cold? Was it this that made me despair life with such a dangerous lack of care?
Living with such thoughts makes my life spin out of control. Who am I, do I even belong on this earth at all? Was I born for another planet. They say this is part of my illness, but I'm not so sure about it.

The medcation has made me put on so much weight. I used to be 7.5 stone, now I'm 9 stone and thats in just two months. So I feel like on top of everything I need to go on a strict diet and that is just more pressure.

I am with a new psychosis intervention team who are trying to help me through this but now I am having to take my third year off university and I am beginning to wonder if I will ever get back.

I was going to go and live in this theraputic community for a while but in the end we couldn't afford it so I am staying at home for the time being.

Although I do not have the diagnoses that you have I understand how scary psychosis can be. I also understand the weight gain. Im afraid im not much use after that but please should u need anything im just a PM away.

I understand how it feels to feel that you don't belong on this earth, how it feels to feel an alien, unhuman. How much that can be an escape from current pain, but also how it can torment and hurt.

I'm also at the other end of a pm.

My dear hammy
Im lost in my own world, or her world right now

But i do understand the fear, I also understand the pain and confusion, the feeling of being the only one who kind of understands whats going on in the head

I have nothing to offer other than understanding and love.......but its there for your taking sweetie

Hugs and cuddles
xx rowie xx

i love you hammy.
im lost for words today..
xx