what's wrong with me?
 

i'm not myself lately

i cant stop thinking about death/suicide

i have to force myself to pretend to be happy

this cant just happen out of no-where

i think there's something wrong with me. ive looked up some of the symptoms of depression and they match a lot of what im feeling

is it possible i have a mental illness? should i ask my counsellor about this or just leave it?

im not sure anymore...........

xxxxxxx

does your counsellor know about these feelings? if you've not talked about them with her, you might find it helps you if you bring it up next time. as you're thinking so much about death and killing yourself, i don't think it's a good idea to just leave it, but whether or not you ask her to refer you to a psychiatrist or someone is up to you. some people with depression find that once they can find the right way to talk about it with the right person (CBT, counselling, psychotherapy etc) they can start to move through the problems, but equally, some people find they start getting better once they are taking medication. by seeing a psychiatrist, either through your counsellor or your GP, you can get an idea of what's going to help you and what's available. the mental illness label isn't always something that will get a bad reaction; there's a girl in my year who i've heard twice since the beginning of term admit to being on anti-depressants, and no one has reacted badly (even people who i would've expected to be insensitive). and if like me you don't want people to know, people aren't going to guess unless you give them pretty massive clues. it's really not like wearing a flashing sign on your head - people are usually too worried about there own stuff.

i have an appointment on tuesday and ive left a note with the reception to give her explaining the suicidal feelings so she'll know in advance.

i think i am gonna ask her to refer me somewhere else cause im really not safe right now but the thought of it scares me cause i have no idea whats gonna happen :(

but thanks sweetie!
xxxxxx

*hugs* you could be depressed, but talk to the counsellor about it.

Handing in the note beforehand is a good idea, well done! I hop you get the help you need,
*hugs*

It sounds like you could be depressed, talking about your suicidal feelings is a good step, well done for writing the note!

just to say, good luck for tomorrow

just wanted to say thanks for ur replies guys :) *hugs*

xxxxxx