gay brother
 

well my brother decided to come out to me, and tell me he was gay. to be honest i wasnt wholly suprised, but it was still quite a shock for it to actually be confirmed

he seemed really frightened that i'd be disgusted or think he was a freak, which was the last thing on my mind. really...im worried for him. This potentially just makes life harder, and more complicated for him. im scared he's going to get hurt (emotionally or physicall) and want to protect him

However, i didnt voice my worry, i just tried to reassure him and tried my best to be supportive, and i told him how proud i was that he was brave enough to tell me, and how pleased i was that i was the first to know.

i also tried to sorta lighten the mood by saying something along the lines of 'i like guys too, why shouldn't you?' and 'people are people no matter what...bits...they have'

is this ok? did i react ok? how can i be more supportive and show him it hasnt change the way i feel about him?

he's turning 21 soon as a side note

and im in shock...

i think you did fine =]
it must have been quite a shock, and to be honest i think you coped really well..

as long as he knows you support him, which it sounds like he should know..
then there's nothing more you can do i guess..

my brother is gay as well actually..
and (well he's a lot older than me, so i wasnt exactly worried..) but i know what you mean about feeling worried about him..
but im sure he'll be fine

and dont worry about the shock, i think its just a big deal when someone who you are so close to tells you something that important - it will settle down soon =]

sarah
xx

thanks for the support hun, it means alot

just yeah, im 17 so my brother is a bit older, but he's always seemed a little akward and self-conscious, and i guess this could be why. but it's made me fiercly protective of him, and i know there are alot of ignorant people out there...and im scared he might get onto the wrong side of one of them one day.

i think it was also a shock because i found out that the 'friend' who came down to stay here last time my brother visited(he's at uni) is actually his boyfriend...which in a weird way made it more 'real'.

my brother said i could tell people, but not to exctly spread it around sort of thing. so i told my best friend and my boyfriend...neither of them seem suprised and don't get why im soo shocked. it sounds weird but im not suprised...just ..in shock...:notsure: . They don't get why i keep wanting to talk to them about it, because im pretty sure they always just assumed he was gay and so to them it's 'old news'

argh, i don't know how i feel:notsure:

its alright..really..
i went through the same thing..
even though i was only 12 when i found out..so i didnt really know much lol

i remember the first time my brother had a boyfriend - it was kind of strange...i really didnt like him actually, im not sure if it was him as a person or because of my brother..but it was strange..
now im more used to it, and his boyfriend now is actually really nice, (and kind of cute lol)

but i do know that when he was in high school (even though he hadnt actually come out then..) he got bullied a bit, and my other brother, who's older, used to look out for him, and once beat up these kids who were sort of bullying my brother..
i guess it can be hard at first, for him, and for his family, but im sure everything will be ok =]

Hey,

I think you reacted fine. This isn't old news to you, so it's quite understandable you're still confused about the whole matter. Just don't worry too much about it (I know - easier said than done!), as it'll probably work out in time. You've done the most important thing: Making it clear to your brother that he can count on you. No matter what the rest of the family may think, I'm sure it means a lot to him that he's got his sister on his side.

My older brother isn't gay, but I've always been very protective of him. Let's face it, people will get hurt in life, no matter their orientation. Yes, things can become difficult, but don't despair ;) He's not alone, and at least he's figured out a huge thing about himself and is honest about it. Tackle the problems when they appear, but it's pointless to worry about that now.

Maybe you should consider talking to your brother about it some more. He might understand your shock, as long as you make it clear that you're not abandoning him, and it might make things easier for you when you don't consider it a forbidden topic.

I think you reacted well, it's hard to know what to say when you're in shock about something so well done for being supportive.

People always get hurt, there's not much we can do to stop it, so if anything happens and he's upset just carry on being supportive towards him.

I think it's really good that you have a strong relationship with your brother too, so it's good that you're there for each other.

xx

Hi silentdancer,

I think you did just fine. Coming out is a scary, difficult thing to do - I've been there, and the love and support - and humour! - you showed is exactly what so many of us need. To know that the people around us love us and accept us makes all the difference in the world.

I also have an older brother who is gay; he came out a few years ago. That being the case, I can relate to a lot of what you're feeling right now - even when you're the younger sibling, it's pretty common to want to protect our older brothers and sisters. I know I did - my brother is my hero, and the idea that people would hate him or hurt him in any way makes me furious. Now, he's six years older than I am, and quite capable of protecting himself, but that doesn't stop me from feeling this way.

If you'd like to talk, I'd be happy to listen. Having a family member come out can be a challenge to deal with, even if we're very accepting of it. Take care!!

I would just like to add, 2 of my friends are gay, one with a younger sister and one is an only child and both of them have not yet told their parents (one is 17 the other is 18). I hear from them quite alot how hard it is and how scary it is the thought of a family member finding out and how they will react. The fact your brother told you is really great, he must really care about you and trust you to tell you.
at 21 he is old enough not to worry about how people at school will treat him and the real world is more accepting towards homosexuality now than ever before. He will be fine don't worry