R Word?
 

Alright so, i made a comment about this in the safe room and Spoons told me it might be a good idea to make my own thread. Sorry if this isn't the right place, i thought about the news and debate board, but then i thought that board is ment to be safe right? If this needs to be moved, thats fine. thank you


Okay, so here is my question for you guys. Should the 'R word' be used so freely? maybe just not in titles? Today i noticed a thread with the word in the title, i'm not saying anything against that member or anything like that. it just made me think, because it kinda upset me. sooo, what do you guys think. all opinions are very much appreciated!
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I think that if they didn't put it in the title, they might still have it in their post which someone might read anyway. Though I suppose they could edit it.

Personally, I don't see the point in starring or otherwise editing the word out, because a lot of them still have the letter r at the beginning, so it's pretty obvious what it is intended to say.

I think that people NOT using this site use the word too freely (and joke about it too often), whereas people on this site are just using a word for something that happened. I don't find the word any more triggering than any other terms found on this site.

Hope this made sense...very tired.

Take care,
-Megan

yes it made sence!
and yes i very much agree the word is used wayy to freely outside of our little world here!

I think the word should always be used. (I'm not going to use it here as you obviously don't like it). But the problem is there is so much stigma and shame that people feel surrounding it. By naming it for what it is without using euphemisms/skirting around the subject, it is being factual, honest and is doing at least something to dispel the ignorance that people often have about sexual assaults. By not using the word I think it looks as though you are ashamed of what happened whereas that shouldn't be the case. So I would urge people to use it wherever appropriate and not pussyfoot around it. Rape is never the victims fault and as such victims should not be afraid to use it's name.

Heidi - I totally agree. Thank you for putting that into words!

i can never say the word in reference to me in a sentence it makes me too uncomfortable, but i dont find reading it as bad.

Hmmm personally i'm ok with that word but others in the category really get to me

Well, I suppose everyone has their own tolerance (I'm not sure if that's the right word for it or not. I'm not too good with words sometimes) of the word. For instance, I can read it. It usually doesn't bother me. But if someone's talking about it, or joking around I snap and freak out. I actually did that to a "friend" of the time in the middle of our study hall.

Anyways...Rambling over....I think it's way overused, but I'm not sure what else would be used if the thread is in fact about the "R" word.

Am I completely making things up or were we once banned from having it in titles? Like, ages ago? I could be wrong.

But I don't have a problem with it. What Heidi said, basically.

^^^i actually thought similar until i saw it.

thats weird, i said it out loud today for the first time ever in the context of this board. i don't know, it sounded horrible.
i don't mind reading it so much. i know i don't come on this board that often but i think it should be used. not seeing/reading it is only going to make it 100x harder when you are presented with it (in writing, or otherwise) by people who aren't on this site.

that is a good point actually, to be able to write it out is something important in itself.

i know the first time i wrote it out in sentence relating to me where it wasnt r*** was quite a big step.

This is a really interesting thread and I will definitely be taking the opinions here into account.

Personally, I used to find that word super distressing, until I understood that it was just a word and was not going to hurt me. However, that did take some time, and I still don't say that word if I can possibly help it. I wait for someone else to say it.

linder surprise makes a very good point, if you avoid it, it'll just make it harder.

still i don't like it. but everybody here deffinatlly has very good opinions!

i'm glad we can use the actual words here. i've tried to get support from forums where you're not allowed to use words like rape/abuse at all, and it's very, very hard. xxx

glad your finding help here whirlpools.

I find the word very hard to use in context with myself and I am having to learn how to say it. Its almost as if what happened to me wasnt bad enough to be called rape even though I was.

I agree that if the R word as you put it is not used here and is shyed away from/banned whatever its going to be far bloody harder in the 'real world' to hear these words and see these words. Better to learn here in a safe environment how to deal with it

This is the only place in the whole planet I can use that word..

I struggle to use it like refering to me, but I can sometimes...just hurts..

Some people use the word because it doesn't affect them and they have come to terms with it. Others don't use it because it makes them feel uncomfortable or frightened. Some people user "baby" words to describe it, just because the abuse has made them feel younger and are scared that it'll bring back memories.

Personally, I don't really like it. I guess it depends on your experiences and opinions.