Not sure if I should post this
 

I'm not even sure if I sould post this or I might just be being silly and angry over the whole thing. Its kinda long and boring so I don't blame you if you lose interest.

My mum is currently seeing a guy who is 29, which in itself I don't have a problem with. What bothers me is shes been seeing him around a month and is planning on marrying him in late August/ early September, purely so he can continue living in England. He has no visa, no work permit, no passport from India,( where he's from) and no birth certificate. As he is an illegal immigrant, the only way he can stay here is if he marries somebody from this country. So do I report this?

Here comes the bit that really annoys me:

I had already agreed to look after my brother (5) and youngest sister (7) from the 17th to the 24th of August so that I can spend some quality time with them. My mum has now told me that I will be looking after them for a further two weeks, while she goes off to India, meets his family and gets married. The problems I have with this is during these two weeks they should be going back to school and I have no way to get them there other than walk them the 3 miles each way. Also I'm supposed to be in France for the last week of that, with work, which is worth around £1000 pounds to me.
I know I should stick up for myself and say no, but my mum will then stop me seeing them altogether, and they mean so much to me. The other thing is that I see their childhood mirroring my own, with constant shouting and a hit first find out what happened later attitude, being passed off onto various relatives when my mum wants some fun, constant put-downs and seeing a revolving door of men. I've often thought about reporting it to social services and fighting for custody but I don't want them to get hurt, and I still have to think about my own job and the responsibility of it all at 19.

It really upsets me at how scared they can be at the thought of going back home but I don't know what to do for the best.

Hey there

It doesn't sound like a fun situation to be in does it...is there no-one else around who could perhaps look after your younger siblings during the last week while you focus on the job. I know it's not something you want - for them to be passed around from pillar to post, but you do need to think about yourself.

In regards to your mum and her new bloke. I guess I would report them, but it's easy for me to say that because I'm not connected to them in anyway. Either way it's not a nice decision you have to make - am i just asuming the worse because he's an illegal immigrant with nothing - quite possibly but I do find it hard to comprhend ppl rushing into marriages especially when visas stc are concerned

Sorry I can offer any real advice

There's not really anybody else for them to go to as my boyfriend will be working as well and its not fair on them all if its just him and unable to get back in a hurry if anything happens. My other sister who is able to just plain refuses.

i take it there's no way your mum will reconsider changing the dates she goes over to meet his family etc...especially if there is no-one to help take care of your siblings.

There is no way she will reconsider her plans for anything, plus she's adamant she doesn't want her children to see her on her birthday, which falls at that time.

Blimey! I honestly don't know what to suggest, I don't understand why she is so caught up with getting married and not on the welfare of her children.

It's always been this way, I was just hoping that they could have better childhood.