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-   -   She's leaving (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69409)

Daydream 20-10-2008 06:02 PM

She's leaving
 
My psychologist just told me that she's leaving in December for another job. I just don't know what to do with this information. I've been seeing her for two and a half years. I'm going to be seeing the CPN in the clinic (who I've only seen a couple of times before apart from in hospital) instead. I'm really upset.

espoir 20-10-2008 07:13 PM

Hugs
Maybe you could see it as a positive thing. The new cpn may be able to help you more and is probably just as lovley.
It will be hard after 2 years but im sure youll get used to the new one. At least she not leaving you without any support. Change is hard but dont let it set you back hun
take care
xxx

whirlpools 20-10-2008 10:48 PM

this must really hurt. i know i've been told about professionals leaving, or me having to leave them, and it has been incredibly painful and frightening. what has made it easier in such circumstances is three things:

1. to be able to talk honestly and openly about feelings you might have of being upset, feeling abandoned, being angry with your psychologist, missing your psychologist etc. (i'm not going to assume you feel these things, i just know i did, and it helped to be open about the fact i was angry and felt abandoned - although they aren't pretty feelings, they're very real and natural and need to be shared).
2. to make sure you have a good care plan and that you get to meet with your psychologist and the CPN together to begin with, if this is what you want. it can help to break the ice and so you and your psychologist can share opinions of the work you have done together and what is and isn't helpful to you.
3. to say a proper goodbye. to have a proper end date and to just say goodbye. whether you feel you want to write a letter or make a card, or bake a cake for your psychologist (you might not want to do any of these things - that's fine). it's good to be able to sum up your work together, to share how far you feel you've come - even if it doesn't feel very far, you will have grown over the last two and a half years. you will have learned a few things.

finally *gentle hugs*. i know how scary this is.

Misunderstood. 21-10-2008 11:03 AM

Sorry to hear that :-(
I know how hard it is when a professional you get on particularly well with and trust and have seen for a long time leaves or you have to move on from them is.
It will be hard but you have to move on too. These things happen unfortunately.
(hug)

one_step_closer 21-10-2008 02:10 PM

I'm sorry to hear that, I have gone through the same thing with two counsellors. It's always difficult to be out of control of a situation like that and have to face up to the fact that you won't be able to confide in someone that you have grown to trust. What would make this a more positive ending for you? You do have some control over this so that it isn't as difficult for you. Are you going to be reducing your contact with her gradually? I hope that you're able to develop a good relationship with the CPN. Take care of yourself, i'm here if you need anything.

Daydream 21-10-2008 06:29 PM

Hi, thanks for the replies everybody.

I've thought about it today and the more I think about it the more I feel abandoned. I'm supposed to be leaving CAMHS next year and I was unconsciously relying on her to stay, because I feel like I've been abandoned by lots of people, through my choices and through circumstances. Like when I left the unit, I just left and after I was grasping at anything to make me feel better about it, I even contacted one of the nurses through Myspace, and I accidentally drove her off there by sending her 3 messages. Like the trainee psychologist I used to see, she was on a placement at the clinic and she saw me for 6 months, I sill feel like she abandoned me when she left, especially because in the times I used to see her, nothing was left in its place, and now I feel so out of my routine. And like when I went to college and couldn't go to the arts and crafts group anymore (it was stopped soon after because there was only two of us there anyways). All these changed are happening, and its pushing me over the edge. I feel so alone now, a little less than I was before I read these replies though. I hope I'm going to be able to adjust when she's not there anymore. I'll just have to wait and see. I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense.

I don't know if I can make this a positive ending for me unfortunately. I just don't see how I can do it right now. When I've left this abandonment feeling I'll think about it again.

Thanks again :)


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