Too much
 

I start therapy again on the 17th of july.
I'm terrified.
I'm too dependent on Kyle. I asked (begged) him to stay home today to hold my hand all day cos I couldn't leave the ****ing house without him.
I'm emotionally blackmailing him and I feel **** about it, I wish I didn't do it I don't mean to do it, d'you know what I mean? I just get scared to be on my own.
I've gone from comfort eating to not eating cos I can't be bothered, it doesn't seem important.
So far I've been diagnosed with Dep and anx, but there's blatantly more to it. I just wish I knew what, and I could understand it more.
I'm like a ****ing child.

Please

Hey there... I'm sorry you're feeling like this, I'm sort of the same with my boyfriend and often feel too dependent on him, and get very uncomfortable and sometimes destructive when by myself for too long. I'm sorry I can't give much good advice as I still struggle with it myself but it sounds like fear of abandonment, which can be a symptom of a number of things. Speak to your therapist about it and don't be hard on yourself hun, these feelings are really hard to deal with but you will find a way x

You must have a very good boyfriend. The therapy should try to help with some of that. I've not had much experience with therapy because I have been too chicken to seek help and have never been forced to do it. I think the therapy will at least try to help you understand more about it. You can only learn so much about yourself at one time. It'll be ok.

Thanks, I do want to work thorugh it, I feel I'm moreready for therapy than I was last time. Kyle went to Hereford today so I'm on my own and I;m doing ok.... then again, I don't have to leave the house so go figure.