No More Ryl For Me..............
 

Ive just had my psychiatric nurse visit my home. We had a very intense appointment today.....all about moving forwards and me taking back control. It all seems impossible, so im not sure it will happen......

Ive had to say what I want to happen to me when I end up in A&E as they dont know what to do with me and my visits there are becoming more frequent.

She pointed out that 'these type of websites' arent any good for me and that I ought to leave them well alone.

I told her that I have been laying low from here but she has advised me to keep away completely. Im not sure I can do that as I have some good friends here.

Im NOT ready for all of this
Im running fast in the opposite direction

Anyway, if im not about you know why........either Im doing as she says and keeping away from ryl or im in hospital(A&E)

Much love to you all xxxx

I intensely dislike the phrase "these kinds of websites". Does she think ryl is a pro self-harm thing? Or does she just think online help isn't for you? I know that I sometimes worry that ryl hasn't been entirely positive for me but then everything has a negative side. It can be kinda triggery and it sometimes allows me to wallow when I should be strong but I think that's positive in the end.

Anyway, if you don't want to leave you should tell her that. If it's all too much for you then you need to let her know. There's no use adding the pressure of things you don't even want to an already hectic life.

*hug*

sorry, im nto a vet but i felt i had to reply to this
'these types of websites'? she is grouping RYL in with a whole load of websites that really dont help people
RYL is different, it doesnt make you worse ti helps you to recover
even before comming in here i saw a post in 'moveing forward' saying 'thankyou RYL'. whoever posted tht has managed to recover with the help fo RYL.
and you said it yourself, you have freinds here, how would leaveing them help you?

sorry, i am jsut a bit protective of RYL :$
*hugs u tight*

*sneaks back out of vets*

oh and PM me if you want hun.

I think I know what she means.
Although ryl doesn't promote self harm, it creates that sense of a community, where it's ok to self harm.
And yeah, I'm not saying it is, all that ryl says it is. But because everyone does it, you don't feel entirely bad for doing it.
Plus I've read somewhere, that people think the site can't possibly help people, because how can depressed/self harmers help other depressed/self harmers. Apparently we have no one to 'look up too'.
Some ways I agree with that, some way I don't.
But I guess you have to decided what's best for you.
ryl doesn't help everyone, but it does for some.
I hope you get better though :(
*hug*

<33

I can see where she's coming from actually. This website, well I don't know about anyone else but it's very triggering to me and very addictive. It's hard to keep away.

i love you rowie..whatever decision you make.
hope to chat on msn soon though.
loves.
xx

I just feel so lost in all of this
Her reason for saying it was......if youre an alcoholic you dont surround yourself with drinkers or go to a pub......she said its the same for self harmers as it is an addiction too.

I like ryl. Ryl has helped me and ive made some good friends here......maybe Ill take a break. I do think there is some truth in what she says. If youre not in a good place, not strong then maybe ryl isnt the right place for me to be.

Maybe a long break would do me good

i was actually going to use that as an example, but decided against it. But yeah, it's that really. You're just surronding yourself by people who do it, so ultimately you think it's ok.

<33

regardless of what you do good luck hun
the most important thing is whether or not you think that coming on here or not coming on here will help - it is whatever keeps you safe and healthy that matters
*hugs*

please be brave and give it a go
 

Rowie
My dear dear friend oh its a while since ive chatted to you

I offer you plenty of gentle hugs full of care and love and support

I hear you about having an intense session with your psych nurse, it sounds good shes mentioned moving forward, and for you to take back some control. Right now it may seem impossible, but please
believe that you can do it and you so much deserve to be in more control
and moving forward.

Its good youve been asked about what you want to happen to you
in A& E, it shows that they care about you and are thinking about you.

I know how hard it must be for you with her saying these web sites arnt good for you, it really can depend on us and how we are feeling, Its a decision only you can make, but i guess if it is very triggery for you right now, you must take care of yourself. And if that means having a break
a proper break from here, give it a try. You can always come back.

We all understand you about making good friends here, i know what you mean, and we will understand if you take a break, we are still your friends and would want the best for you.

Hugs you, you will not let anyone down in any way whatsoever if you take a break from ryl and the vets.

Its gonna be scary and its up to you how and when you decide to do things, but i think it will do you good dear friend. Be brave.

We are allways with you Rowie, and if your not around we know its because youve taken a break, we hope it isnt because youve
gone to A & E.

You are truly a wonderfull person and a great friend you have supported me and cared about me. And been very understanding with me.since i joined im forever greatfull to you dear friend. Words cannot describe what your friendship means to me.

And i will allways hold your love, support, and belief in me, and your friendship, in my heart forever.

please take care and do whats right take the step in your life dear friend

Love you so much
Dave

I actually had this site recommended to me by my gateway worker. I already came here lol, but he asked if I'd used it and said it might be good to talk to people who were going through similar things.

I understand it can be triggering at times, maybe you just need to think before you use it, and make sure you stay out of triggering parts if you think you aren't too stable.

I hope you get things sorted.

I, personally, don't think total avoidance works in any situation but I do believe that all people are different and you should try what you think might help. I would just recommend that you try to keep perspective and remember that if it doesn't work that in no way means you have failed. It only means that particular system wasn't right for you.

Does RYL make it easier to SI? Personally, I don't see it that way. Before I found the first site (Ruin Your Life), I thought I was the only person in the world who self harmed like I did. I lived in what I thought was a solitary, secret world of shame. I thought I was a despicable freak. Now I know I am not. That there are many people, just like me, who do this for different reasons -- some, like me, to cope - some because they like it - some for reasons they have not discovered yet. But for me it is good to know I am not alone, that I have friends who understand and do not judge me for what I do but rather accept me for who I am.

Remember you can always come back here.

There is some truth to what she says but at the same time I know that RYL was one of the reasons that I stopped in the first place. Though a lot of people here do have problems with the same stuff ...at least we are able to find a place. At a certain point in my recovery I did need to take a step back and stay away from RYL. I was getting too triggered by it and it was also because people weren't being as supportive as they are now. I think it is your decision to weather it is hindering or helping you along the lines or your recovery. Stay safe though and know that we are always here for you. *hugs*

Hmmm I'm inclined to disagree with the nurse thought I know where she was coming from and understand it, there a number of web sites about "this" out there that are in fact not good for people but I think this one is very, very helpful...and It's actually recomended by therapists and such people however if YOU feel it's not doing you good and triggers you then you MUST stop coming, tought you'd be greatly missed, you have to do this for you. If you think it's not good for you then it's ok but don't do it just because of what she said...she may have been thinking this site is like all the others when in fact it isn't. Think of yourself and decide for yourself, if it helps you then stay but if not then it's best you leave.

Good luck and lots of hugs. I wish you the best.

I have been mulling over this since yesterday.

I think she has my best interests at heart for saying what she said. But I also feel she has classed Ryl as ''one of those websites'' without knowing what ryl is, how it is run and how supportive ryl is.

I know what triggers me. I know what upsets me. I know my limitations. I guess it is upto me to realise these and to stay safe within those limits.
I cant leave ryl nor will I. Its has offered me a huge amount of relief and support over the past year.

But what it does mean is that for the time being I will not be so active in my replies, nor will I beable to be on msn to offer an ear or a shoulder as I find....selfishly I know......but I do find that listening to other peoples struggles awfully triggering right now. It upsets me knowing that my friends are struggling and there is nothing that I can say or do to help them.......that is a huge trigger for me and therefore have to distance myself from it for the time being.

I will be telling my nurse of my decision next week...she can like it or lump it, but I believe I have responded well to her comment and suggestion and will endeavor to keep myself as safe as possible without leaving totally.

Much love xx

Good for you hun, no one knows you better than you know yourself and you do know your limitations...so yes, it's all up to you and you can make it work ans keep yourself safe. Take care :)

I'm just going to add my two cents worth here. If you're an alcoholic, you don't go into a pub, but you can go to AA. Yeah, here everybody self harms, but I have yet to run into a post that says self injury is the way to go.

Personally, coming here has helped me to feel less alone, because there are people who have gone through the things I've gone through, and truly understand how hard it can be to stop. I have also never felt condemned while here, and that has helped a lot.

As for the SIers helping SIers, we're all in different places, and those of us who are further along can be inspiration for those of us who are struggling. That's what it's all about.

hi, just wanted to say something. I dont quite understand what she means by 'these kind of websites', its a support forum and community not pro. But having said that only you know how RYL effects you. I think it depends on your state of mind but only you can know what that is. The A&E questions sound like your psych nurse thinks about your well being.

Whatever you decide to do I hope it works out for you. *hugs*

what is AA except alcoholics surrounding themselves with other addicts. its one of the best support techniques that works and carries on working.

how can someone pretend to try and understand something they've only learnt about, but havent experienced?

Hmmmm
Maybe I shouldnt have posted this for support after all

I guess Ive made my mind up what to do anyhow

Thank you one and all xx