Feeling guilty for being on benefits
 

Does anyone else get this? It's something that comes and goes with me, but sometimes I feel bad that I'm just sat here getting money when at 27 I should be out there making my own money and working for a living. I was raised with a strong work ethic from both my parents, who have always worked very hard, and am constantly reading on the news about 'dole scroungers' and suchlike and can't help feeling affected by this. The thing is I would genuinely love to work, and one day I will and am making moves towards eventually doing this. I just hate the thought of people asking my parents what I do... when I was always the prospective academic of the family who was going on to great things, but who's spent the last four years doing nothing which can be spoken of with great pride. Bummed out of university and the rest of it. And sometimes it can really get me down, and I get angry at myself for being useless and weak and the rest of it. I dunno, the one thing I would really like to have in my life is a job that I love doing, and not just crappy temp work!

Heya,
Don't feel guilty. You are obviously trying - the 'dole scroungers' are the ones who don't care, and don't try to find work or help in their community.
You say you are doing temp work, thats a lot better than most people I know. And you are making moves to get permenant work, thats even better!
At the moment, things are a bit bad and working for yourself must be hard. But you deserve the money you are recieving, and when you do get a job (which I'm positive you will, a good one!!!) you'll be paying back into the system. Don't feel guilty, you really deserve all the help you are getting.
Take care,
Jen xxx

I'm one of those people who really dislikes people who are on the dole. It really ****s me off, especially when i was working (im now on maternity leave) because i wasn't earning a lot and then i'd lose like £150 on taxes paying for people who can't be bothered to get off there ass's and work for a living.
But, thats only people who have no excuse for not working and aren't even looking for a job.
If it's people who can't actually work for some reason then i don't really mind and they/you shouldn't feel guilty about being on it. Because you obviously need to be, and at least you are wanting to get a job at some point and actually trying to.

If you are unable to work - that's what the benefits system is for!

Don't feel guilty over this - yeah there are people who milk the system, have jobs and still claim benefits, or whatever - but that isn't everyone, and it isn't you.

The Benefits Agency don't really help either as they assume that everyone is on the make.

If you can't work, you can't work, you have to live somehow.
Obviously it's not ideal, but some day things will be different for you

Besides, having a job is seriously over-rated :P

Sarah x

A woman is coming round tomorrow morning to see if I might be eligible for getting Disability Living Allowance as well, which was what prompted me to start this thread I suppose. If I do get it, I'll almost feel like some sort of fraud... And there's a stupid pride thing as well. I'm worried the longer I'm on benefits and the more money they give me, the harder it will be to get back into work. And then when I do start work, I'm worried I won't cope and end up back on benefits feeling even worse than before. It's all very confusing. But thank you for your replies x

Is there any reason why you feel guilty?

Hmm... I know that I'm not lying when I speak to doctors and fill in forms and have assessments, if that answers your question. It's more of a personal or psychological guilt, feeling that I'm somehow a defective being who needs to be spoon-fed and looked after by the state. All boils down to low self worth, I suppose. Blah!

I don't know if I've taken that question the wrong way but for some reason it's made me feel quite crap

I think I know what you mean, but it's really not the case!

Depression can really skew your perception of things. Please don't beat yourself up over this.

Sarah x

Well aren't the ppl from the benefits agency helping you finding work? Here that's the case.

Marte

I feel guilty too but I have taken this opportunity to go back to college and do evening courses and get my head and health back up a bit which in the end is better because whats the point of going back to work if you are not well enough?

I have felt exactly the same and the feeling is horrible. I know what you mean. I hate it how some people seem to think all people claiming benefits are just lazy and can't be arsed to get out there and look for work when it really isn't like that at all. But there's still a lot of us who feel guilty for it. And it's horrible.

But that's what benefits are there for. I too would love to have a job. But so far I haven't been able to get one. But we really don't have anything to feel guilty for. At least we're trying to get jobs and we need something to live on. OK, your family have always worked. But it isn't always that simple to get a job. It gets to me how some people sit around doing nothing and are happy like that and never feel guilty. I just can't imagine doing that forever, it drives me nuts.

For me I have a career in mind and I am training towards it. But I'm having to pay for the training myself because I'm not old enough to get help with the cost of the training. So I'm having to use the money I'm claiming to pay for it which for some reason makes me feel awful. And I'm not allowed to start doing the job I want to do for a few years so right now I just want something to help pay for training and keep me going till then.

Sorry to have rambled. Just wanted you to know you're not the only one who feels like that. But we have nothing to feel guilty for *hugs*.

Hope it's not too long before you manage to find a job :)

heya hun
i know completley how u feel, im the same. I hate having money given to me when i should be out earning it. I hate the way people who work view me as well, that includes my brother who is completley clueless and thinks i sit on my arse all day happy as larry! What u have to try and remember is that u didnt choose to be ill. U didnt ask or want it, it just is. If u had a broken leg u couldnt run a marathon yeah? And keep reminding urself that u would rather be earning the same money ur on now working 40 hours a week and be well than to get it as u are because u are ill yeah.