I am torn **Possibly Triggering**
 

switched antidepressants (again) the other week to celexa... its making me not want to do things to myself... I feel way better than I have before, but I dont want it. I dont deserve it. Its tearing me. I dont know if I am ready to feel better, I know it sounds strange but Im not sure how describe it or handle it....I want to do and think things that are bad but I cant.... any advice?

It is not unusual to get used to the feeling of being depressed, or otherwise 'not well' and so feeling 'better' can often feel just as alien and disconcerting. However, you will get used to that feeling also, and it is a much better one to be used to *hugs*
You do deserve to feel better *hugs* keep reminding yourself of that.
Perhaps you could talk it through with a counsellor who may be able to help.

It's totally understandable how you're feeling. After being unwell for so long it is scary to think about getting better.

But you DO deserve to feel better. Just take things one day at a time, it wont seem so scary that way.

I have to agree with everyone else, feeling well after a long period of feeling terrible is scary *hugs*