I can't hide my tears anymore
 

I'm struggling with a loss (I'm not getting into it). For some, people would think I'm over reacting. While others who have been here know I'm not. From the time it happened a little over a month ago, to this day, I'm still crying. I can't hide my tears anymore. Writing this post, I'm starting to cry again. I can't help it. I have no control over this. Yet, I never show anyone the true me. Sure, I can post here, I can talk to friends about stuff, but I never open up all the way. A good friend of mine knows I'm struggling. She would be very supportive, hell, she has been. Yet, I can't open up to her. She saw me start to cry, but I got control over myself before I cried. When I got home from being out with her, and I was alone, I just burst out in tears. I have really good friends. They love me, and I love them. They care and they knows I'm in emotional pain, and if I could just get past this wall I have built, and just express how much I hurt right now I know I would feel better. I'm suffering alone, and that is never good. I'm going to go now, wash my face, blow my nose, and go on with life...

I know this is hard but some time or another you must let your wall down. Let someone in because you WILL feel so much better after you can express yourself TO someone. It is hard but the wall is there because you're afraid to get hurt or express pain but in reality you feel pain and you NEED to express yourself somehow ...in a safe way. You can always just talk to your friend over the phone about it or something to start.

It's so hard to start uisnt it...even when they know already...it's hard to make yourself say the words.
I may be way off but are you in any way afraid that if you DO open up and start to heal from it that you will forget and somehow 'dishonor' the memory that has caused you this grief? That you need to hold on to it for yourslef? Or do you feel responsible for the loss in some way and are scared others may find you to blame? If im way off sorry...
Maybe try (if you havent already) writing it out just for you at first and then maybe you may find youwant to show your friends...
I wish i could help more hunni, its terrible to be all alone with grief....
wishing you some peace
romp

Dont feel guilty about crying!! That is the most important thing. Grief i a hard emotion to deal with. Its differnt for eveyone. But your body usually knows how to deal with it. So if you feel like crying, DO IT!! Dont hide your tears.

If you feel you are struggeling to control these emotions, it might be worth speaking to your GP who can offer you further support. ou dont need to suffer alone or in silence. If you cant verbally experess how your feeling, maybe try writting it down.

But please talk to someone about it.
Take care
Kim

I hope you are feeling a little better by posting. We are all here to help you, to listen to you.

Crying is such a good way of getting rid of your grief and other feelings. Dont try and keep everything in.

Jade xxx