feel defeated
 

Dont know how all this started again,was doing so well and now its worse than ever.:-( Had a few preaty bad days,self harms preaty bad and it scares me cause i dont feel in control of it anymore.So wanna quit this but havnt a clue how to anymore.Feel so defeated.:-(

The fact you want to quit means you are far from defeated, you must still have a little fighter in you somewhere its just a case of finding it and letting it out. I know how it feels to have that feeling of complete defeeatedness if there is such a word but I am very stubborn and I find that standing in a room and telling myself that I will ont let my mind win and having a full blown argument with myself usually works, but then being a bit on the loopy side tends to help with that, sorry shouldnt make light of my messed up head but it helps me deal with the many voices going on inside my head.
I also feel like I am losing it at the minute so I found that by doing something small that i am in control of helped to give me back a bit of the control in my life, for me it is withh work or with my piercings/tattoos but i guess it is a personnell thing so find something personal that you CAN control. This weekend i got two new pirecings (my nipples yay finally) control achieved helped my head a bit got a bit of balance back, probably get bollocked on the site for advising getting piercings so apology now for that, also apology for the rambling nature of this reply but my head is a bit messed at the minute but i wanted to reply to you as you seem to be about where i am right now.
Please feel free to PM me if i havent freaked you out with my ramble and complete shcizo reply you can get through this you made the move to ask for help so keep going there are some amazing people on here and i have been brought back so many times from where you are right now and from i guess where i was about 4 days ago so hang in there and you will see it is worth it.
Again apologies for the ramble and apologies from all the other mes that probably came out while I was typing hence the fucked up nature of this reply, anyway keep going and take care of your cuts you dont want them to get messed up.
Cx

Hey,
Slip-ups happen honey and I know it seems like the end of the world when it happens and it feels like you can't come out of the cycle, but you can, I promise.
You just have to believe in yourself and believe that you can do it. Don't beat yourself up about it. You can always get back on the horse.

Take care
Air

Im sorry you're feeling so bad at the moment, I know how it feels when day after day it feels like nothings getting better, but it doesnt mean things cant get better. If you feel like you've lost control I really suggest talking to someone about it, a member of your family or a friend or a GP. You dont have to cope with this on your own, you can get help and support to get you through this.
Stopping self harming is not something that can be done suddenly, you need to address the issues and find a better way of coping. RYL is always here for you and you can post as much as you want, we will support you.
Take care
Aimee xx

thanks for the replys.Still feeling preaty low,last night was another bad night.Tho I know theres a part of me that wants to fight this and get through this,ive just gotta find it again.