Every year with out fail
 

One thing I can be certain of is that my mum will do something to ruin my birthday. The only thing I wasn't expecting was it to come the night before with a simple text of, "Nothing to display" meaning why haven't I texted her and you don't love me. The fact I had no credit never crossed her mind, the fact she turned me down when i arrange a date to meet up, all she cares about is making me feel like a worthless piece of ****. After throwing my phone at the wall all i can think about is shes right it's my fault. Why am i eve here if all i do is cause problems and ruin peoples lives surely its best for a few people to be happy rather than me to be sad? I just want to cut so bad and never wake up, it's things like this that make me wish i was never born. I don't know what to do any more.

*hugs* you are wanted duffer and you do so much to help on this site and in peoples lives

Its not like you never try with your mum and you are trying you did not choose for it to be like this

you can be happy and you are worth while more than you will ever know

im sorry shes made you feel likes this and that your so down the day before your birthay

please try and look at the happythings in your life and you have so much going for you

dont ever think you cannot talk to me always here for you even if its just a hug or a smile

love midnight :hop:

It sounds like she is playing mind games with you. If you have offered her dates to meet up and she's turned you down, that shows you are trying. You can't do any more than try. I hope you manage to enjoy your birthday and find something to do to take your mind off her *hugs* Happy birthday!

*glomps duff and cuddles lots* honey i'm sorry your mum sucks right now. *hugs* you ARE wanted and please don't hurt yourself. You don't deserve that. You are wonderful :)

*Hugs lots* Duff im so sorry your moms being like this, try not to let her words affect you, easier said then done i know, if dates were offered then you making effort, none of this is your fault, so DON'T balme yourself, please try not to hurt yourself, bro your an amazing person xx

oh hunni, no no no!!!! YOU do not make her do this...SHE has serious problems if she can do this to her child. PLEASE try to see that???!!! Because IT'S TRUE!!!!

Pls, pls dont let her issues and meaness cause you to hurt yourself.

what a dreadful thing tyo do to you, im so very sorry...it hurt me reading it, i cant imagine how much it hurts you!!!

thinnking of you and sending *hugs* [if ok] and love
romp

What she is doing is so about her! You are worth better and deserve better and are better!

*cuddles you*

Thank-you all for your replies, i try to tell myself not to let her get to me but and i just want my mum to love me which she has never been able to show me ever. I will always love her i think thats my problem i need to let go and forget her but i can't. Each time i say it's the last time i set my self to fall i just can't take any more.

she's your mother so she's not someone you can easily let go of or forget about and i dont think you ever will. i know its hard hun but try not to let the stuff she says get to you. no one's worth it if they make you feel this bad.
she may try to ruin your birthday but you've still got all of us to make up for anything that she does
*huggles and cuddles and lei's and giftwraps myself to give you as a present*

soph.

I can give you a virtual scarf or virtual bandanna if you like. Hand made by my hands.
I learned a few years ago, that no matter what I do, it won't be enough for my mother. So I suit myself instead. I had a quiet day alone for my 40th. I had a friend over for my 42nd.

I love my mom too, or used too. I do better without her and her attitudes and expectations in my life. It is about my life, not hers. I know that sounds harsh, but that is what I have to do to stay sane!

Duff, if it makes you feel any better my parents forgot my birthday 4 years in a row. 14th, 15th, 16th and 17th. On my 16th I decided not to say anything just to see how long it took them to remember....it took 8 days. Needless to say I don't celebrate my birthday any more.

For a long time i felt like if they couldn't bother to care why should I? Anyway, the point is, it's not your fault, it's your mothers, and your mother isn't the only one who is bad with birthdays.

If she is going to be so self-centered do you really want to spend time with her? You deserve to be happy and it doesn't sound like spending time with her is going to get you that.

i know you love her as well its your mum

but look around you hun you have family ok it might not be mum and dad etc

but maybe just maybe a bit better if i might be so bold to say :shocked:

you have your close freinds, girlfriend and look at this the biggest family ever who are always here and always care and dont care if you not smiling or in a mood who will always listen

you are worth while and should be loved like you are you a great person we all can see that if she cant then thats her loss but sorry to be selfish but our gain

try and in enjoy your day duffer im glad you where born and still here within my life

please keep fighting

midnight :hop:

Thank you i don't know i need to think about what to do. Just thank you all

OMG I REPLIED AND ITS NOT THERE I SWEAR I REPLIED!
oh please dont tell me im going crazy i swear i replied duff *cries*

ohh *huggles* wish I could help, you mean so much to everyone, just remember that ok. *hugs*

Katie i believe you don't beat yourself up *hugs*

it keeps happening though :( then i think maybe im crazy :(
but this isnt about me
*huggles* its bout u :)