loosing touch
 

Im really struggling, I dont know how much longer I can or want to keep this up. I have my major exams (HSC) in 6 weeks, I cant focus, I cant sleep, I have no motivation to do revision or study, simply Im over it. More and mrore it feels like Im loosing touch with reality, everythings numb. I dont know what to do anymore, I just want to curl up and for it all to go away.

Ive had some really rough nights lately and I cant keep things together. My teachers and my dad think I am being lazy or that I dont want to work/do well in these exams, that I dont care. Nothing could be further from the truth. Im falling apart at the seams and I look at the work load and know I could do it, and do it well, but I cant. I cant keep up. I cant do it. So much of what I am trying for feels like a lost cause.

I keep looking for a way out, an easy fix and there isnt one. I dont want to grow up, Im not ready to be branded as an adult when Im only just learning to be a kid.

I dont know, Im just looking for a way to avoid a second emotional breakdown in a week. Im sorry.

Oh honey! *hugs* HSC is such an absolute bitch! *pets* I think every grade 12 is like.. *blows up school* take that mo fo :P It's alright to feel terrible sweetling, especially when it's been such a long and difficult road.

Which school are you at? Do you have a decent school counsellor? Because when it's your HSC, talking to someone who can help you through this woul dbe a good idea! *pets*

*hugs* Have you tried explaining how you feel to you dad and/or teachers so they know you're not being lazy? They may be able to help you organise your workload into more manageable pieces instead of trying to tackle it all in one go

I know what it is like to have something big in front of you and to not be able to handle it.

I think asking for help is great. Not to make excuses, but to help support you as you go through this difficult time.

hugs

Just because you are doing your exams does not make you an adult, do not be scared of having to grow up. I have been to uni and everything and i have not grown up. Growing up should be something that comes natural. If you dont feel ready dont do it and most of all dont worry over it. you will feel ready one day.

As for revising have you tried different methods, e.g. quizzes, online, written. Also maybe try some different locations. I could never revise at home, but if i took my books to the local park or library there where less distractions and i tended to put more work in. I still prefer to work away from home as i feel different and can focus.

Good luck with your exams
And remember that the results are not the be all and end all of your life.
Kim