friend advice needed - may trigger
 

hey, dont know if this shoudl really be in here but i don't know where else to put it :ermm:

my friend had just being diagnosed with a personality disorder amongst other things......and i feel like its my fault

i knew something was'nt right with him and i pursuaded him to go to the doctors, which then refered him to a counciler, but he's not talking it well, they've said he is in a critical state now and if he had left it much longer they dont want to think about what he would have done

the problem is i want to help him but i dont know alot about personality disorders or mental illness in general,

i was wondering if anyone could let me know anything about it, facts or feelings, anything would be useful

i know he proberbly won't want my help but its good to have some info anyway

Thanks in advance for any replies

Firstly, it's not your fault!

You can google the personality disorder he has and read up on it, see if there are any forums you can joined about that disorder to ask questions.

Best thing to do is educate yourself and also be very open with him and let him know you are here to help and ask him what ways he wants support. He could want somebody there to talk to, but he could also want somebody there to distract him from it and do fun silly things, so ask him what he needs.

Good luck.

there are various different personality disorders, so its hard to give you an answer on that without knowing which one. the most common is borderline, which features impulsivity, being over emotional and having difficulties relating to others.
all the personality disorders are more a cluster of symptoms than a strict medical condition, and there is even an arguement that they arn't particularly helpful or valid. i am of the opinion that everybody could be categorised as having one pd or another, but its only those who have other psychatric symptoms that get diagnosed - and most ppl in psychatric hospitals have personality disorder somewhere in their notes.

i think it sounds like you did the right thing persuading him to seek help - especially if things are so critical. he may not recognise that now, but hopefully will come around to accepting that he really did need something.

you are also continuing to be a good friend in wanting to know about his diagnosis, and how to respond around it, even knowing he may not want that now.

advice on how to help? just be there; as good and caring a person as you obviously are.

~yanna~