Depression....
 

sneaks up on you like a snake in the grass and then slams into you like a train you never saw coming....

i shouldnt be depressed. my son is coming soon to visit for ONE day.....

forget it...

i shouldn't be depressed, my best friend is coming to visit for 3 days.
that's just how it can be though. life likes to test us.
you will have a great time with keith. he loves you SO MUCH and you love him. keep yourself busy, take him somewhere nice, anywhere you can afford, have a great day.
xx

*cuddles you tightly* whether or not you should or shouldn't be doesn't matter. It's OKAY alright? *hugs you tightly* honey, you will have a GOOD time. Like Chloe says, you WILL have a good day and you will be busy and things will work out. It will be okay honey. it will be. *hugs*

Rachel, Depression is like any other illness. It is okay to be depressed even when good things are going on.

*cuddles you*

I'm sorry things are so difficult for you. Please try not to feel guilty about your depression, it will only make you feel even lower. I hope that this passes soon. Please get in touch if you need anything. Take care.

Depression is what it is.
When you've an undercurrent of deep sadness and loss in your life it is, well, there.

thank you all.

there are quite a few things going on with my family(mom, sister, brother) but i just cant put anything to words right now.

im deadly sorry for not supporting you guys right now. i will as soon as im able.

i love you guys.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

*cuddles you*

Support YOU first. YOu're what's important! *hugs* okay?

Rach, look after yourself.
Enjoy seeing Keith, I hope you have a great day.
Love love xxx

Rachel sweetie, sometimes we have to take care of ourselves and that's ok.
Please tell us how your visit with Keith goes?
Love you! *hugs*

*hugs* I hope you and Keith have a great time together

I loves you lots rachypoo!!!!! *cuddles*

Sorry to hear you feel depressed.

(((((hugs)))))

Catherine xxxx

thanks again everyone.

things seem to go from bad to worse.....
yesterday my grandma(father's mom) fell and broke her hip. they did surgery asap yesterday.
im worried about her. she and i dont have the greatest relationship. i just hope she'll be ok.

Leanne(aunt who has Keith) drove to the hospital last night(6 hour drive). i wanted to go but i dont have the gas...its an hour and a half away from me. my sister was there though. she works there.

ive learned a few things the past few days.

my son saw two men at the mall holding hands and suspected they were gay. Keith isnt judgemental. all he said was "they are sinning and i'll pray for them". that completely tore me apart. how will i EVER explain my situation to him?? he will worry for me and be afraid im going to hell. i know how my son thinks.

also....he was watching t.v. a few months back and saw something about brittany spears. they mentioned bipolar and how she had shaved her head etc.....well, last year i shaved my head and of course, Keith started thinking and he asked Leanne what bipolar is. the t.v. finally explained it and he said "my mommy doesnt have that...she doesnt act that way".
but he connected the shaving my head thing to having bipolar!!!!
and i DONT have bipolar. i have whats called cyclothymia.

so, of course my head is reeling over this. my child is worried about me. they say he knows im sick and is always trying to figure out whats wrong with me. now, i could tell him my primary diagnosis is PTSD but he would continue to question me on how i got it.

and one more thing.....
as i was talking to my sister last night, she just popped out and told me that she and Leanne had a "girl's night out" planned for next weekend when they come to visit. that isnt what hurt me. i would rather be with Keith. my sis was supposed to meet them at a half way point which is Nashville and spend the night at the hotel with them.
no one told me of this!!!!!! i didnt know i was allowed to go to Nashville. and i guess i wasnt, considering NO ONE ever mentioned it to me. that would have been extra time with Keith!!!!
none of that is happening now of course, because my grandma is in the hospital. i just wish my sister had never told me. she certainly didnt have to. she did it to hurt me. period.

im done.

sorry, forgot to say that Keith is still coming next weekend for just one day. Robert stayed with the boys in Knoxville while Leanne came last night. but the boys have school etc....

I know I dont know you very well, but I know how much you love your son, with every fibre of your body.

I hope you have a magical day with your son because you deserve it.

Good luck honey

Jade xxx

Keith sounds like a very aware child, is there anything you could say to him to settle his worries about your health without having to explain why you have PTSD? I'm sorry you're having such a hard time hun. I hope your grandma gets better soon and that you have a great day with Keith. Feel free to PM me if you ever need someone to listen. *hugs*

Think and worry about you all the time
I may not be about but I always read your posts
I just wanted to wish you a wonderful day with keith
Much love as always xx

too much
too much
too much
toomuch
too muc
too much
too much