sorry, still not available *support needed please*
 

See this thread in Serious. [triggers]

I'm really shaken up and am going to sedate myself now and go to bed and sleep.

I'm not available this evening, and I'm not sure yet about tomorrow.

Sorry.

The therapy break is all through August. No appointments during this time.

I'm really not ok at all.

Sorry everyone.

And I'm sorry to myself. I should be able to cope better than this by now.
But I'm not. I'm really struggling.

14 days til september 3rd. as it is now.

am at work and keep having to run to toilets to cry.

You don't have to be 'available' Katherine. Cry all you need to, let it out. What is it that is getting you so down?

I've cried, let a lot of it out...
Not sure about work tomorrow afternoon. We'll see.

What's upset me is that my therapist has extended the break by 2 days due to essential decorating work taking longer than planned.
It sounds almost ridiculous when you put it like that, but....

As you can see in my other thread and in my Blog, I'm still really really struggling.
I'm doing my best to keep things in perspective, but I'm slipping in and out of semi-psychotic states from severe anxiety, rage, and aloneness.

I just don't have the internal resources to be there for others much at all right now. I'm barely here for myself.

Noone is likely to post a support thread for me. Maybe you're not even aware of how much I'm struggling. It's hard to talk here about all that's going on for me, because it's so complex and multi-layered. I explain things more in my Blog.
But I would really appreciate some words of kindness and support. Please.

I know you are struggling and Im really sorry you feel so bad atm *hugs*

You can work through this bad time and come out the other side stronger. Once you have battled through this layer,you know its one less thing to work through later, and you are therefore closer to recovered etc.

Please look after yourself, you are a lovely person and deserve to be happy and things can always get better
xxxx

Thank you...

i'm thinking about you, too. keep looking after yourself, take things slowly. i know it's hard to enjoy the time out of therapy but try to relax as much as you can. the time will go by a bit more quickly. use the support that is avaiable to you, and if you're feeling strong emotions, write letters to people, even if you never send them. if you choose to send them, you can, but it's up to you. or you could write to your therapist like she's there, and keep the letters for when she gets back. i've been writing a lot of letters lately and it seems to help express/rationalise things. xxx

Thank you.. I am Blogging a lot, and doing art. Plus journalling at night too. I need to do more, really, and the letters is a good idea. I have to overcome that part of my mind that says 'no, don't want to. you don't care so why should I?'.....

I hope that things will improve for you. Best wishes.

*giant hugs*

I made a support thread for you... and you got some great replies...

(((hugs)))

You don't have to be availiable... like people say you don't help people if you are a mess yourself..

Take good care of yourself...

You're doing great, keep holding on.

Thank you...