i dont know what to do
 

im scared

i dont think i should deal with this.


when i was 22 i self injured myself becayse my father screamed at me and because of my mother.

since then ive been crippled and in pain every day.m 25 now. i just turned 25 and this happened right before i happened to be 23. so its 2 years

its driving me crazy every day since then my father has been determined to not allow me to get better, he screams at me every day. he beat me , he tries to get me not to have food.

he threatens me and locks me away for no reason.

i spent over 100 days sitting in either psych ers or mental hospitals being evaluated for lies he told.

he getting really crazy,. he can kill someone


he treats me sister like crap. she wanted to help me. shes the only one who can help me get better.

and he screams at her and treats her like crap because he knows shes helping me and he wants to scare her and put pressure for her to not care.

and hes determined that she leaves me.


shes 18 now and leaving to college. she got mean to me recently. im not sure why. but she can help me.

but my family treats her like crap. they wont talk to her my other sisters scream at her my other sister threatened to her hurt in a playful way.

my mother and father dont speak to her. she has health problems and my mother wouldnt take her to a doctor when she has gastrointestinal bleeding.

my father wouldnt give her money for stuff.


they treat her like crap. all of a sudden shes leaving me and now they love her. my mother talks to her about her new apartment and they want o buy her furniture. my father calmded down and helps her look for apartments and pushes her into getting furniture and finding a roommate

hes very determined that she leaves.

they still are mean to her. the only thing they talk to her is about moving.


my whole family only pays attention to her if its about the topic of her leaving me.


my logic says itsn only because they want her to leave me.



anywaYS its not fair.

It sounds like you are in an abusive situation and are feeling helpless which is fueling your SI. Is there anyone else you can contact that can try to intervene with your dad? Is there any way you could move outand find a room mate. Sometimes relationships with parents can get so much better after you don't live with them anymore.
I'm sorry I don't feel like I have lots of advice tonight but I would like you to know that I read this. Please don't feel alone.
**hugs**

Are you seeinga counsellor or anyone? It may help for you to talk through allthis with someone and they might be able to help you more and give you ways in which it might be easier to talk to your dad about this. Also, as it appears that it may be your dad causing you to SI have you thought about moving away from him, moving in with a friend or getting a flat or something, it might really help.

It sounds like you are in a very serious situation... can you ask anyone for help... like any professional you might be seeing, can you go to your GP..

There might be a shelter near you that perhaps you can stay in for a bit, cos it sounds to me your father is not treating you right and you need to look after yourself and get out fast...

If your sister is under 16 then you could ring social services hunni...

I hope you do get some help and things get better for you...

*squishes*

Claire...