Newbie
 

Hi, I'm Laura, married and i'm 25.

I first started SI when i was 14/15, don't remember what started it. It was never deep and just left me with a few mild scars and sometimes i would bruise myself. I never tolded a soul and just stopped again for no reason.

Then a few months ago life went a bit tits up and several things went a bit wrong including having a miscarriage and my mum being diagnosed with cancer and i found myself cutting again.

My husband invariably found out and although angry and doesn't understand is supportive enough and i got myself councilling through work which is annonymous. My occupational health nurse and councillor is pushing me to speak to my GP which i find terrifying. I'm fine talking to a councillor as its annonymous and safe, but i feel really really sick at the thought of my GP knowing. I'm a nurse myself and am also terrified that my work will somehow find out and now wish i'd never spoken to anyone.

My hubby also wants to keep trying for a baby, and although i also really want a child and was devestated when i miscarried i have this underlying thought now that coz i've started SI again, i'm not fit, or couldn't cope.

Anyway, sorry for my rant, just really wanted to introduce myself and say hi!

Hi Laura, don't worry that wasn't much of a rant, you'll see how much the rest of us can rant over things that aren't as serious as what you've been through recently. I can't offer much advice other than that since I've told my GP I've gotten more help to get me on the road to recovery. But it took over 10years before I was ready to tell anyone in the health profession. I think you need to be ready yourself and shouldn't be pushed into things. You are seeking help through your councellor and I don't think they should be pressuring you, you've enough to deal with. Explain to them that by them pushing you its not helping and you will tell your GP, but just not yet. Hope thats of some help. Its just my own opinion so feel free to ignore it! *snuggles*

Oh and seeing as you're new, I'm Hayley, 27, been SH/SI'in on and off since the age of 13. Was doing well, 8months free and then had a slip up 2months ago and trying my best to get better again. RYL has been a huge help and comfort to me the past 2months. You're definately in the right place to find support.

Hi Laura,
I'm Susan, 42, been self-injuring since I was about 14. I'm married and childless by choice.

Since you are getting help through counseling, I wouldn't worry about telling your GP.

I don't think that self injuring makes you bad. I don't think that starting SI again means that you aren't fit to be a mum. You obviously care enough to wonder which seems like you'll be fine.

Hi Laura,
Great to meet you. I am pretty new here myself. I've been wandering around here for maybe 2-3 weeks. I find it really helpful to be able to be understood here. Everyone here is very helpful and supportive.
I'm 23. I've been married a little over 2 months. I've been si-ing off and on since I was 13. I'm impressed you are able to talk to your husband about your SI. I'm struggling with that right now.
Welcome!

Thanks guys,
Its hard to get talking about this stuff but the comfort of your own home and the computer is great! Starla as for talking to my husband - he really just saw the new cuts and finally figured out what the old scars were about and spent a few days of yelling 'what the f is wrong with you', now he really doesn't understand and we don't talk about it much except for in a round about way, but he is supportive when it comes to my councilling.
Thanks for the advice and welcome, i'll be seeing you's about the site x

Welcome.

Hi Laura,

Welcome to RYL. I'm sorry about things being so bad at the moment. I think that you will find that your counsellor cannot discuss anything about you with anyone without permission unless you or another person are in danger because it would breach confidentiality laws.

I'm in a similar situation in regards to starting a family. I'm 26 and married but I have been severely depressed for months and have no job and have never been able to hold one. My wife is nearly 33 and works part time and studies so we only just get by on her wage and my pension. I really want to have a child one day but it looks less and less likely as time is ticking away. And people still judge us as being 'selfish'. You have a big choice to make. Probably one of the biggest choices that you and your husband will be making together and not one to be taken lightly. If you feel your not well enough yet then don't push yourself. You will know when your both ready, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. That's just my thoughts anyway. And with the doctor, can you ask a close friend to go with you if you are ready? It took me a long time to get the courage to go to the doctor. They may have medication that would help you and be able to point you in the right direction in regards to therapy. Remember that there is NO weakness in asking for help! I hope whatever happens it works out for the best.

Hugs

Nathan

Thanks Nathan,

Its nice to be so welcomed even though everone else is clearly going through so much themselves. Its hard sometimes, at the moment a don't seem to have the ability to make decisions on really simple things let alone everything else and i really don't want a 'band-aid baby' as much as my husband thinks it will fix everything. Even though i think he thinks i'm magically cured by a couple of councilling sessions. Its exhausting pretending to be happy for everyone elses sake and my guard is slipping in some places. Sometimes its just so hard to be.

But thanks for the hugs and i hope everyone on here will be ok x

Hi there and welcome

Hi Laura

Its nice to meet you. Im sorry you are going through it at the moment. I have had several miscarriages and I know how painful they are. You dont just loose the baby but all the dreams you had for it as well.

Here in Vets they are all so lovely, so make yourself at home.

Hope to see more posts from you

Jade xxx

OMG how have you gone through several miscarriages? So sorry for you! Thanks for the welcome, everyones seemed great so far. I finally have found a place where i don't feel like a basket case! x

Hi
 

Hi, I'm pretty new myself - only been on here a few weeks but everyone has made me feel very welcome!!
My name is Marie and I'm 28, struggling with a reoccurrance of depression and SI at the moment, used to SI in my teens and had depression / anxiety back then too. I thought everything was ok but then for some strange reason, it suddenly wasn't. Partner doesn't really understand too....which makes things difficult to say the least!
Sorry to hear things are bad for you, I hope you find some some of what you need here xx It's a very supportive forum.

pm me anytime
:crazy:

If there are places where you don't have to pretend to be happy, don't worry about it there, just be yourself. There is a difference too between being happy and being pleasant even though you are unhappy, hope that makes sense?

I have two safe places, here and Alcoholics Anonymous. One of the things about AA is its singleness of purpose, so I don't much talk about my SI there, it just is not appropriate. Here I can talk about SI and there is no problem when I mention my alcoholism either. Here I can focus on self injury and what triggers it.

For some people, counseling does just take a couple of sessions to get things sorted out. For some people, it is a life long process. I don't know how you could explain that to your husband though.

I am glad you are keeping us up to date on what is going on with you!