Something I wanted to share *positive*
 

This may be a bit of a ramble, but there you go.

This last week has possibly been one of the hardest ones ever. Not only with the events that I've been posting about here, but stuff at home & memories coming up stuff too.

Do you know what?

I don't care. It's in the past. Everything that has happened is in the past and it's up to me to carve out a better future for myself.

I hate the way I look at times, & sometimes I want to dress differently, but I don't have the clothes for it, so today I'm going into town to take back some stuff I haven't ever worn & exchange it for monies so I can go and buy some stuff that I look FABULOUS DARLING in. I'm going to get a real "I look great" outfit. I don't care if it's too dressy for casual wear or too casual for night wear or whatever, it's going to be something that I look and feel great in.

I shall be posting pictures, and you can all tell me how fantastic I am ;)

I'm also starting to job hunt for when I go back to Southampton, and I will not let my fear of talking to strange people on the phone get in the way of that. I'm going to ask the right people for references, even though I'm scared I won't get them, because if you don't ask you don't get anyway.

I'm eating healthily too, and exercising more. I'm starting to feel a confidence about myself that I haven't felt in ages. I'm having less and less of the days where I wake up and don't want to get out of bed, and more of the days where I wake up and think "**** yes, let's go girl" [well, something like that, anyway!].

& the real clincher for me was this.

I was sitting outside work, having been on the phone to my ex-boyfriend/best friend for probably an hour. I'd been crying my eyes out and was feeling generally crap.

I sparked up a ciggie, dried my eyes and then the sun came out. And it was just one of those perfect moments where you just KNOW you're going to be okay.

Yes, I will still have my bad days and stuff, but I have therapy nearly sorted out for when I'm back in Southampton, which is good, and will help me get through those. I know I need to sort out a lot of stuff in my head, but this time I also know I can do it.

:)

Proud of you chels.xx

So proud of you darling.
I love you <3

That's real good to hear =]

Omg proud of you so much Chels, I know I don't know much about your situation but I'm proud you have realised this. Good luck with the job hunt and have fun getting new Clothes!!!! Can't wait to see pics *hugs*

That's made me really happy reading that :)

Ali xox

Great to read something positive Chels.

Hope you continue to feellike this, you derserve it

Take care

Jane x

This is sooo good to hear

That is just absolutely amazing =)
YOU are amazing
Oh yes
xx

Yay. You rule.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When you do have bad days, come back and talk to us please?
This is so awesome go hear! You go girl!

proud of you :)
you should like print this out, or save it in a word doc on your computer so if you're feeling down you can look at it *nod*

That's wonderful! ^__^

*squishies*
*dances*
so so so happy and excited for you chels.
this is awesome to hear!!!!
much much love.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

*cuddles* i'm really proud of you chels. You've done so well. *high fives* :D

That was really nice to read, I'm really glad that you're feeling so positive about things.

Catherine xxxx

thats awesome, looking forward to seeing you look lovely in your new outfit

With or without pictures, you're still fabulous.

That was great to read :)

*bump*

please remember what you said here chels xx