ill-adapted am i
 

So i've come to the realization why counseling is not really helping or moving along to healing very quickly. My counselor pointed out that she's being met with a lot of resistance from me.

And she is, i now see...... but i can't open up. i really do try, but then i internally freak out and shut down. i don't know how to break through that.

A friend suggested that counseling might not be for me. But then, what is? How do i get better??

It makes me feel pretty lost......

Do you have some idea of why you might be finding it so hard to express yourself, why you shut down? I know for me that when I show 'resistance' its usually because of past trauma/abuse during which I learnt to protect myself, through dissociating or putting up an angry barrier to keep people out. Because to the part of me still 'locked in the past', people = being hurt and humiliated. It can be hard to believe in the fact that I'm safe now.
Its not all up to you to break through it. Your counsellor can help you. You can work with it, slowly, gently. Be prepared for it to take time. It depends on how deep the defences go. I've been working hard in therapy for a number of years and am really now making inroads into breaking through the shutting down state safely, with the support of my therapist.

I wouldn't say that counselling is not for you. On the contrary, I would say that is just the thing that counselling can help you with. You and your counsellor may need to back track a bit on what you are working on, to shift the focus, but it can get better, really.

s good counsellor or therapist should be able to roll with that resistance and help you open or or atleast explore with you the reasons why you feel you cannot.

im not up to saying a lot right now but i just wanted to let you know that i am the same way - i think a lot of people are
i crapped out on counseling which i wish i hadnt so please stick with it because now if i decide to go again i am like going to have to start from scratch and you dont want to have to do that after all the effort you are putting in
somebody suggested to me writing a letter or printing out some of my ryl posts, which i did but then crossed out and tore up (way to go me)
so maybe you could try that if talking is too much?
keep going with it and be brave you deserve help