Scars
 

My boyfriend and I are moving closer and closer to having sex for the first time, well first time together, we both have had other partners before. he dosent know about my SI, I still activly cut, and deeply, and the scars arent exactly inconspicuous, and they are EVERYWHERE. I know I have to bring it up BEFORE we have sex (hello, mood killer much) but I dont know how. Any suggestions? I dont think he would leave me for it, he will be upset, which is why I want to be careful about how we discuss this.

He might be upset.. but at least you won't have any secrets between you both...

Be honest with him... at least you will be prepared if he upset...

I hope it goes well...

I definitely agree that talking to him before you have sex is a good idea. He may be upset, but that will be because he cares about you and it's hard to know that someone you care about hurts themselves. Despite being upset, I think he will appreciate the fact that you were able to be honest with him: it shows you trust him and that's really important in a relationship. If you think he will have trouble understanding, then perhaps you could print some info off of the site to help explain what SI is a little bit more?

Good luck with this, I know it's really hard to open up sometimes and I think you're really brave for wanting to get this out in the open with him
xox

*hugs* it's good that you're going to tell him
all i can suggest is breaking it slowly, truthfully and with an explanation as to some reasons you do it
it's probably going to upset him that you havent told him before and still doing it whilst with him, but he should be ok with it if you help him to understand it.

PM anytime
Caz x

I told him.....
 

Well I told him, he was....shocked first I think. Then he started crying...I couldnt belive it, I have NEVER seen him cry, even when his dog died. That made me feel bad....really bad. You know those vicious cycle things. BOY was I in one. I wanted to cut because I was making him cry, but I was making him cry because I cut. *sigh* We talked about it, alot, the why's and the how's and the how long. He was very supportive. I dont think hes going to ever let me out of his sight again though....lol. He wanted to see the cuts, and the scars. I didnt let him, I'M not ready for that, soon though. He messages me even more now, constantly "are you ok?" "How are you feeling?" "Are people giving you a hard time at work?" Its sweet, and its nice to have someone that knows and is supporting me, not just upset with me and calling me selfish. I am a very happy person right now, and thats a nice feeling, its been a while.


THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR HELP AND ADVICE. It made it alot easier to talk about it when I didnt think I was crazy for needing to tell him. :-D

aww *hugs*
thats so good you told him! well done, it was very brave!
im so glad he reacted so well, and is being so supportive, he sounds like a decent guy :)

*hugs again*
Caz x

He is an amazing guy, it looks like I got lucky with this one :) *hugs* Thank you for your support I really appreciate it!