I Have No Idea Where I'm Going With This
 

Right, firstly, hi, I haven't been around in like, forever.



Ok.
This is probably going in the wrong place.

I seem to be having issues in my mind with boyshape.
Because his ex girlfriend used to cut herself.
& I feel I can't because of that.

(I do not need lectures on how this might be good for me, I cut myself and I am quite comfortable with that fact, I do not wish to stop, and I do not see it damaging to myself and never have).

But I think the thing that needs addressing here is that I am feeling such an urge to now be as far removed from her (in the case of I'm scared my behavior may be like hers in someway, or that I may become like her)r I seem to be changing who I am.
Or at least that is how it feels.

I actually have no idea what point I'm getting at here.

people cut for different reasons so it wouldnt necessarily make you like her

I think I know what you mean. Are you concerned about what he thinks (if he knows you SI)? Or is it more that you "don't want to be like the ex" if that makes sense? It's understandable you don't want a "history repeating itself" scenario and if you're really worried, you could always have a chat with him. I don't think you should stop when you're not ready yet - that would make you feel worse.

If any of that made sense to you? =/ Take care,

xx

Ahh, I can relate. My boyfriend's ex was a cutter too, and it just pissed me off because I didn't want him to have any reason to compare me to her. It's lame, I know, but I guess you just have to deal with it because changing yourself is almost like letting the other girl win (not that it's some competetion but you know what I mean, right?)

I don't know that that was any help at all, sorry :P

the cutting is only one thing though. it's just one aspect of your personality. you are you and im sure he likes you for parts of yourself that are different to his ex's. at least it means he won't freak out and leave you because you are a self-injurer?

Oh he knows I cut.
Most people do.
&& one of our mutual friends spoke to him before we got together about being worried about because I'd ended up in Hospital.

I'm just worried that he see's something of her in me and thats why he likes me?
Something like that anyway.

I need to find some coherency to my thoughts on this.

Even if he ha seen some similarity to her in you (and i'm not saying he has) i highly doubt that's the reason he's with you. Surely if he was earching for that he would have stayed with her in the first place. He loves you for you. You shouldn't feel you have to change for anyone. If cutting is a part of you then you shouldn't have to change especially if it's making you feel uncomfortable. He's clearly fine with it so try not to compare yourself to her. Love you.
xxxxxxxxx