Triggered and in need of validation
 

Before today I hadn't posted in Veterans, except once in the kids of the 80s thread, since last tuesday. Almost two weeks. No one noticed. I drop by, I read the things I can and offer a hug or two, but I have nothing more in me. There's so much going on with me right now and it seems to be getting so much worse every day. I woke up triggered, must've had a weird dream, and went to the bathroom to cut but my boyfriend got up and came knocking so I decided against it. I haven't been able to stop thinking of it since and I'm just so -I don't know. I know I'm doing better than before but I don't feel any better.

I can't even bring myself to go into what is wrong because I don't want your sensible and honest advice, I couldn't face it. Talking about this stuff makes it all too real.

Do any of you even know me or care? I wish you would. I see the "where's so-and-so?" threads and I get so jealous - I know that's so pathetic and self-absorbed. I just wanna be part of the Vets community, y'know?

Do any of you even know me or care? I wish you would. I see the "where's so-and-so?" threads and I get so jealous - I know that's so pathetic and self-absorbed. I just wanna be part of the Vets community, y'know?

I know you, admittedly not that well, and I care. I get jealous of those threads too. And if you post here, you're part of the community. At the end of the day, you get out what you put in, but it may take a while. If you want to get a bit more noticed then perhaps reply a bit more to the General posts? I don't know. PM some people, say hey, stuff like that?

xox

I get jealous of the threads that have loads of replies, or the where is ... too.
If I do post I come in every so often and see if there are any replies on them, and get ecstatic if there's one or two, then see someone else's post with 3 pages of replies and it makes me think the same way you do.
But I do know there are people here that know me and reply, there are people here that recognise me and read something I've written. People have reasons for not replying, maybe they are in a difficult spot and can't reply.

I know what you mean. But I can also say that you and I are members of the Vets community, as well as everyone else here. It's a big community, as with other communities there are going to be people that have more clout and popularity than others, those that like to stand out and those that like to hide. I personally like to hide.

But I have found that when I do post a new one, I get replies, and it shows me that people have read what I have written and care about it enough to give me some advice, or even just a hug.

And people care here about you, too. Me included.

Take care

Lozx

P.S I love your avatar and the kitty picture too!

So cute!!

Lozx

Hiya!
I have to say, I don't really know you- but it will be nice to get to know you. Welcome to Vets, the crazy and yet really lovely community in RYL. Come in, sit down have a chat and grab a brownie. And remember- you're not alone. xxx

I have now had 4 replies and a pm. I feel good.

You are right QC, you get out what you put in, and I should post more if I want people to know me. I'm gonna try and post every day, because that's what I really want to do.

Trucktastic, my avatar is Kogepan. Don't you just love the cat sushi? I don't really worry about number of replies for my posts, it's not being missed that upsets me.

Thanks for the HUGS ,ChapterTwelve. That analogy about the party is exactly how it feels. I've been coming to the party for over a year and have managed to talk to some people and get noticed a little bit but I'm still not a regular and I get forgotten when I disappear. The trick is to stick around but I'm not much of a forum person.

Mimsey, ta for the brownie - mmmm. I don't know you either! *hug*

My boyfriend is getting me icecream and something else I like (it's one of those good/bad depending on your perspective things so it might trigger) I'm playing a computer game and trying to be distracted by it. I just need to keep myself occupied while he's away because that's the most dangerous time.



Wow, I just heard the most humungulous crack of thunder! That's pretty ominous!

hey

i know how all that feels im Debbie and i wanna be your friend too! :)
since i joined RYL i spent most of my time in chat! but chat has been down since we changed over to V3 and so ive migrated in to the forums, i stubled upon the RYL adoption agency, where i was matched up with bleedingdragon, who has adopted me :D
you could try that?
Also my friend Ann (cheyanne2311) who i met in chat has been pusing me and replying to my posts and stuff so its all cool

although they both have given me alot of support and encouragement, im like you alot of the time and not really sure what to say, im kinda crappy with words much better wih hugs, soon i hope to get to know others beeter too and them me unforyunatly this takes time :(

anyways lovely to meet you! feel free to PM me if you like!
luv and Hugs

Debbie

I just wanted to say that I understand how painful words that touch on the vulnerable soreness inside. I can very much relate.

It is human to want to be seen, heard, valued and reassured. Very human.

oh sweetie...
i am very sorry that you have been feeling this way.
when i first started posting....i had a really hard time and got offended when i only got a few replies or none at all. the longer ive been around, the more i realize that people do respond when they are able. i took it as a personal attack when i was new as i am so damn sensitive. but you are a valued member here and i love you to pieces.
thinking of you.
xx

Pusing???? I think debbie meant pushing hehe. Her and her typos :-p Well yeah just wanted to let u know I know how it feels and feel free to contact me anytime u need.

I'm so sorry luv. We've talked a bit and i would love to talk more! i quite like ya , ya know!! It is very hard feeling left out and over looked...and with everything else it is sometimes too hard to keep trying to make contact...but pls dont give up okay?
You can PM me anytime ok??
pls take care luv.
luv
romp

It's ok I'm not in the position to give any sensible, honest advice. I'll just give you a hug instead.
((((Hug))))
I'll be honest, I only know a few folks here really so I don't notice yet when most are gone for a while... I HAVE noticed in the month or so I've been here that you not only give hugs but when you've got it in you you give some pretty sound, careing advice and I for one appreciate it.
Please take care of yourself.

Alyssa

:-D Huzzah! *feels loved* Thank you all sooooo much! And thanks for all the PMs too, I'll answer them shortly.

Debbie - Good idea about the adoption agency. Just in time for the new Vets one too. I added my name so I guess we'll see.

Longing Tears - I loved that post. Made me feel...well, human. Which is a challenge at times!

Apple - I love you to pieces too! I always reply to your posts when I can and follow your "story" with interest.

Ann - Ta for your PM :) I know I'm not alone.

Romp - You too, ta for that PM. And I'm glad someone knows and likes me. You're nice!!

Alyssa - ((((hug back atcha)))) I'm glad you think my advice is caring and helpful, I often feel like my posting is pointless.