I'm in trouble *Very Triggering*
 

I'm in trouble with the police. Yesterday a girl was following me home and was going to push me in front of a car (Beth warned me) and so I turned round and threatened her with a knife.
The police haven't found me, but it's only a matter of time seeing as they've been spying on me.
Feeling terrible today, Beth keeps telling me to slit my wrists and I feel close to doing it. I'm an evil person who doesn't deserve to live.

i have replied in the other thread you posted hun but *hugs* and i don't want you to hurt yourself, i don't think beth is being very truthful with you right now xx

Thanks Diamond.
Spent Friday night and then all of SAturday in A&E. Took an OD on Saturday which didn't work. Tried hanging myself this morning but it didn't work.
They wanted to send me to hospital but there were no beds, so the crisis team are visiting today and they'll do what they did last week...Offer phone support until Monday when my psych can be contacted.
Nothing can help me now. I'm stuck like this and I don't want to keep living like this.

i understand how you dont want to keep living like this and hopefully once your psych can be contacted then they can do more to help you keep beth under control.
*hugs*

I'm getting to that point where if I don't find means of keeping myself safe (ie hospital) bad things are going to happen.

please please hang on until you can see your psych.
i dont have much more to offer and im sorry. just hold on tight.
*holds you*
loves.
xxxxx

can you tell them??? tell them that's what going to appen? please don't do anything to yourself!

Wish I knew what to say. I'm just dropping in to offer my support.

Crisis team are coming over at 7, I'm going to go to the pub before they come.

Hey

I know we don't really know each other but just want to check you are doing OK?

Let us know

*hugs*

did they come? are you okay?

Crisis team came and talked with me for a while. Then they talked to my dad in private, which I didn't like, then they left prominsing they'd call today with a date for a meds review.
Haven't heard from them, going to the pub to get drunk.

oh dear *cuddles* i'm sorry i can't help much honey, but just keep posting on ehre

I shouldn't have drunk anything last night, it messes with my meds.
I feel really suicidal and I think I'm going to do something stupid.

Zowie are the crisis team coming again today or can you call them or someone else who knows what you are going through, you trust or can distract you?Please tell someone how you are feeling.You sound so upset and unsafe and im also sorry Beth is causing you so many problems.Please try and keep yourself safe and keep posting on here to let us know how you are doing!Worried about ya.

The woman from EIP and my care co-ordinator are both on holiday. No longer under the crisis team, don't know who to call.
Came so close to slitting my wrists last night, I cut myself badly last night, there's no space left on my arms or my legs.

Said a prayer for you Zowie!

Thank you Susan x

How are you doing now hun? Has anything happened with the crisis team?

Not under the crisis team anymore, they just saw me over the weekend. Had a bad few days, called EIP who went on about simple distraction techniques which I told them weren't working but they just wouldn't say anything useful. So I phoned A&E to tell them I was on my way (so they would be expecting me and I couldn't do anything stupid on the way) and they said 'we can't really do anything except reiterate what the EIP team have been saying'.
So I cried myself to sleep and woke up this morning feeling just as bad. Going to a party tonight, kinda looking forward to it but scared about being around loads of people when Beth's being so violent.
I'm going to sleep for the rest of the day until the party.