ho hum. the state of the world.
 

honestly, i swear my most depressed moments revolve around our world today.
i'll always remember sitting on the train with helen and vera last year, just feeling absolutely miserable about the state of the middle east and the war and politics, and everything. and they kept asking why i was mad at them, and i couldn't explain. i was resentful that they weren't doing more to fix things and angry that there isn't necessarily a way to fix things and ashamed of my life.

it makes me feel so helpless and useless and like i said, lots and lots of guilt.
i have SO much, and some have SO little...it really can't be fair.

the futileness of what i fight for-- sometimes it just builds up to a point where i don't even see the goal anymore. convince the world one person at a time? that's stupid and i know it. but how to win the necessary battles with the rampant stupidity in the world is so overwhelming i can't see any other way.

bleh. this has rambled.
oh well.

I feel EXACTLY the same way! I swear.
Actually if, during your life, you change even one person's ignorant and selfish point of view into one of selflessness and conscience then you have fulfilled your purpose. You alone can't change thw whole world one person at a time, but all of us, lots of us can. One person for everyone that wants to educate people...that will eventually make a lot of people so you can change things one person at a time along with thousands of others like you. Also, some awesome person by the name of Ghandi said this: "Be the change that you want to see in the world" I think about that whenever I feel I'm not doing anything to change things and It helps remember that to change anything you have to start with yourself...and then change one person at a time...that one person will most likely do the same with another person and so on. You can make apretty big contribution to society that way, not to mention to your family and friends and anyone you personally care about. You can change things in a big way...you just won't see it happen but you have to trust that it will. That the people you help will in turn help others, consciously or unconsciusly. Every person you meet is affected by you whether in a good way or a bad way, it's your choice.

I think I just rambled a little too much.
I know how you feel.