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-   -   God created children... (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=57788)

Casper_Fading 27-07-2008 11:24 PM

God created children...
 
GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)



To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own,
grandchildren,nieces,
nephews,
or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.


Whenever your children are out of control,

you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend

to His own children.


After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was

" DON'T !"


"Don 't what
? "
Adam replied.


"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
God said.


"Forbidden fruit
?
We have forbidden fruit
?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit
! "


" No Way
! "
"Yes way
!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit
!"
said God.




"Why ? "

"Because I am your Father and I said so
! "
God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants

A few minutes later,

God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked
!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit
? "
God asked.





"Uh huh,"
Adam replied.


"Then why did you
?"
said the Father.


"I don't know,"
said Eve.
"She started it
!"
Adam said.


"Did not
! "
"Did too
! "
"DID NOT
! "

Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.


If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you
?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT
!

1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact,
they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own

6. We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.




ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day


AND FINALLY:


IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:





"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN"
AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

effervescence 27-07-2008 11:29 PM

haha, so true about the children's parties

Bitter_Angel 28-07-2008 12:26 AM

hahah love it.

Trucktastic 28-07-2008 02:23 AM

snort! so true!

Lozx

risenfromperdition 29-07-2008 05:35 AM

haha! i so agree, and i dont even HAVE my own kids

Aidee 29-07-2008 06:05 AM

hehehe, very true, and I don't even have kids either!

~invisible~girl~ 30-07-2008 09:53 AM

hehe

*forwards to mommy*

Queen Crabbit 30-07-2008 10:00 AM

Omg, that's so true.

*forward to the mother & the sister in law*

Yellow 31-07-2008 10:38 AM

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
GREAT one!!!!

Kangaroo 03-08-2008 07:13 PM

Amusing, despite not having children.

I disagree with the one about parties. I think my parents quite enjoyed them. Mum certainly was in a minority among her friends as she enjoyed the school holidays. I must have made up for being nice when i was little to being horrible now. lol

GoodbyeMyLove 04-08-2008 12:20 PM

Haha, so funny and true and I don't even have children either!

crazykat 05-08-2008 02:05 AM

Haha, I loved it


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