RYL Forums - Terrible weekend (long)

Right, I just went away for the weekend with my boyf as I had a big family party thing to attend, and I asked him to come.

However, we had to go in his car because mine won't survive the motorway (lol), and it was a really long way. It was too hot, we got stuck in jams, and he was driving so long his legs and back hurt, and he had a headache.
The party was rubbish, we didn't know that many people and the food was awful - I couldn't eat any of it as I was allergic to it and they didn't cater for those who have nut allergies :( all the 'younger' people of the family left for the seaside about an hour into the party, as it was boring and we were close to the beach, but we decided to check into our hotel first and then join them.
But when we got to the hotel, the boyf had a migraine and was in pain the whole night, so we just stayed in the hotel room. We tried to get some food, since I hadn't eaten anything all day, but he was too ill.

I felt so so guilty for dragging him across the country, and then not being able to help when he was ill.

I cried all night (when he was asleep) and just felt like killing myself. I'd wasted so much of his time and money in getting there. And I felt so guilty about him being ill because of me. I made all these plans about how I'd kill myself in a way that wouldn't hurt him. I just felt so bad. And I still feel really bad.

This is why I never organise anything. It's always crap.
:'(

I don't know what to do. I just waste everyones time and money and cause general crapness wherever I go.

I know this sounds pathetic but I'm pretty upset about it :( I don't know what to do.

PS I put this in mental illness because of the suicide/ guilt thing. If it's in the wrong place, feel free to move it. Thanks.