Losing it *rantish*
 

Sometimes I think I'm actually losing my mind. I don't trust my own senses, perceptions, feelings and memories anymore. I don't always see the difference between what've I've forgotten and what I've dreamt/imagined/been told. I don't think that I'm real. That it's me sitting in this room right now. I'm consumed by this relentless self-hatred and I don't know how to make it leave me alone. Sometimes I feel like my own skin hates me, like if it could it would hurt me. I don't even think that these feelings are real, because I can still hide them. If no one can see anything in me then is there anything?
I don't know what I'm looking for here. I guess for someone to either tell me that I am or am not losing my mind, or they feel something similar.

I posted this in the serious discussion forum too.

I know about that. I feel that way sometimes, more than I should actually. I don't think you're losing your mind, I think it's somewhat normal to feel that way sometimes...maybe I'm wrong about that. Maybe it's all part of the sadness and hatred...I really have no explanation, I just know I've felt the same and I'm pretty sure it's not because you're losing your mind.

I don't know about losing your mind, but the rest I can relate to. I struggle to tell what is real from what is not, I don't trust any decisions I make, actually I try my hardest to avoid making them, because I don't trust anything I think or feel. I wish I would lose my mind so that I wouldn't have to know or feel any of this.

i doubt you are losing your mind or you wouldnt have been able to express yourself so clearly. and i CAN relate to the feelings youre having. however, im quite useless right now and dont know of any helpful advice to offer. but you arent alone in this and many people understand. i think we all feel surreal or unreal at times. please try and keep safe.
much love.
xx

thank you, i appreciate your understanding :)