Only a matter of time
 

I'm worrying about being empty.

It happens you know-It always does-it's only a matter of time before it happens again-before my life isn't worth living again.

I mean right now I'm struggling against purging & restricting. I've started cutting again-My pain is actually becoming physical symtoms.

What happens when I'm in London alone?

Belt, what do you mean you worry about being empty? I'm sorry things are hard for you at the moment, but there are always ways that you can get through things like this.

Firstly, are you in contact with a psychologist/therapist? The feelings your are expressing to me worries me. You need to be getting some kind of professional help, otherwise things are going to get worse for you, and I don't want that to happen.

Are you getting any help with your eating disorder? Many people who have struggled with eating disorders, also turn to self harm. Eating problems, like self injury are a form of self-destructive behaviour, which often suggests that the person is expereicning emotional pain which is leading to them wanting to cause themselves physical pain, does that make sense?

You mention about London? Are you moving to London? This is something that also scares me. In 2 years, i'll be off to University, i'll be on my own, no family to watch and make sure I eat, sounds scary I know, but i'm sure you can work something out. Like I mentioned above, you need to be speaking to someone. That way you can work around your feelings, and hopefully get to the bottom of what's making you feel the way you do.

I'm always here if you need to talk, okay? Let me know how things get on.

Kerry
xxx

Hey, I agree with what Kerry said about seeking proffesional help with this, treat the problem rather than the symptoms kinda mentality. Don't focus on stopping an ED or SH entirely, because i find that the problems always come back because there's still an issue buried deep inside that is just biding its time until it flares up again.

Like Kerry, I'm a bit worried about you being alone with all of this right now, is there anyone who could be in London with you, or a friend you could stay with? Ultimatley if you are alone and feeling bad, get yourself out in public where there's less chance of you doing something silly and that you'll later regret. big hugs, mand x

Hey Robyn, im sorry you're struggling at the moment.
When are you going to London hun?
If things have started getting worse again, chances are they werent fixed in the first place and it will keep coming back until you sort out the real issues that are going on for you. As Mand and Kerry have said seeking help is a good idea, I seem to remember (im so sorry if im wrong) you seeing a counsellor or psych, are you still seeing them? If so I think you need to tell them how you're feeling and how its affecting you with your self harming and ED issues.
You are a beautiful, intelligent and wonderful person Robyn, and after seeing your Youtube video whenever it was I also know you have the grooviest accent in the world ever. Dont give up hun, you have to keep fighting. Im always around if you want to talk.
Take care
Aimee xx