stopped my one of my meds and scared
 

So upset and annoyed with drs yesterday. Been on lorazepam since January and was only supposed to be on it short term but they kept prescribing it to me and i kept taking it. Now 6 months on i still taking it but 3 weeks ago saw my psychiatrist and she said i have to start weaning off it and take it every other day at first. But I havent been able to come off it - partly because i think im already addicted to it and mostly because i am so scared of getting the bad thoughts again and going back to where i was in january so i have carried on taking it. I saw cpn on tuesday and told her that i am still on it and told her how scared i am to come off it and she said it was ok for me to carry on with it over next couple months but keep trying to wean myself off once i am ready.

Then yesterday i pick my script up from drs and they havent put lorazepam on it and they faxed to my psych and he faxed back and said he wants it discontinued and wouldnt prescribe it again. He thinks i am already weaned off it. So had to ring my cpn to see if she can sort it and she was finished for the day so left message for her to ring me this morning.

Thing is i am so scared of coming off it because i am frightened of going back to where i was in january and having those bad thoughts and getting into right states again and so worried they wont give me another script for it. I feel like even if i had started weaning myself off it 3 weeks wouldnt have been enough time anyway given the length of time i was on it. Ive relied on it so much along with my other meds and feel like i need it. I am panicking myself something stupid over it. And even if i do get another script its not going to be forever.

And also if they dont give me another script it means ive got to go cold turkey and i dont think that is very safe.

Dont really know why i am writing this but its churning me up so much and need to write it down

cpn just rang and told her whats happened and she is ringing my psychiatrists secretary to see if they can change the lorazepam to diazepam so that i can come off it slower and dont get the bad effects. So just waiting for cpn to get back to me. I really hope they do as if they give me nothing then it means i havent weaned off it at all and that is supposed to be quite dangerous

Hey,

I can understand your apprehension about discontinuing benzo's. It can be scary, but hopefully you will be ok and if you are not then wont you be able to let your psch or cpn know? THen they can decide what treatment you may need.
I was on a similar drug for 16months, whilst in hospital and was told that i must be addicted and was placed on Diazepam, to wean off them completely. Anyway to cut a long story short, i decided to stop it completely one day and had no residual effects.
Around 45% of people recieving benzo's actually become physically dependent and you could be in the 65% that dont. Like was said above if you dont want to stop the medication then this is only going to make it harder and will make you psychologically more dependent on them.
DO you really think if they were to stop taking them say in another six months, would it make it any easier?
Are you using them for anxiety? They dont generally have any effects on thoughts, just help to relax you. THere are other alternatives that can help with symptoms such as anxiety, agigtation ect such as a low dose of Quitiapine and can even prove to be more effective than benzo's without the risks of potentially becoming addictive. You could talk to your psych about this.

I really do hope that you are able to come off and remain stable off benzo's. Let us know what happens. What exactly are you scared of coming back?

i first was prescribed the lorazepam beacuse i was having thoughts of killing my son and myslef and was planning our funerals and ways to kill us both and i got myself into complete states over it and im so scared of going back to that again. Ive become so reliant and addicted to them i am so scared of coming off them. I dont wnat to run the risk of being bad again.

I already take trazadone and trifluoperazine (anti-depressant and anti-psychotic) and im hoping these will be enough.

Psychiatrists secretary rang me back this afternoon and they have given me diazepam and i have to start on 10mg (which is equivolent to what i was on on lorazepam) and then each week reduce by 2mg til i am completely off them for good. Have to pick up script in morning.

I hope that i dont get bad again. Im scared that i will. I dont want to get like i was at beginning of the year

Shell

That is great they put you on Diazepam. How do you feel about coming off this now? I can understand not wanting to go back to the way things were at the begining of the year. Will you be able to let someone know if it does happen though? Not saying it will its just better to be prepared

good luk with comming off your meds

How is it going so far?

the diazepam is knocking me for six - only been taking it a couple of days and i feel like a zombie. I am sleeping so much - today i didnt wake til dinner time and i still feel absolutely shattered and in need of sleep now. I just feel so drowsy and sleepy and unable to concentrate on things. Im sat here typing and i just want to close my eyes and go to sleep. I really hope that this doesnt last long. Ive never had side effects with tablets before but i have definatley got them with this.