Please, please help me
 

I'm so sorry for posting again but i'm in a real mess i'll try and explain.
I've been feeling pretty awful for a while now, I haven't been able to let professionals help me and the thought of meds sends me into panic. A couple of days ago it got to the point where I realised that if I didn't get some medication I wouldn't get better and I would die.
Tuesday I went to see my doctor I asked her for some kind of medication ( which I got) but I must have said too much ( can't really remember) she got really concerned and got straight on the phone to my cpn, she wasnt avaliable so she left a message saying I needed to be seen urgently.
Wednesday morning I saw my cpn, she also went on about how concerned she was for my own and others safety, she said she would be speaking to my doctor to decide what they are going to do. I went home and paniced, but managed to calm myself down as I didn't hear from anyone.
Wednesday part 2, I went to go and pick up my children as normal from school and while i'm waiting I get asked to go inside to the office, from there I get ushered into a room where I find the poilce and a social worker, saying I cant leave with the children unless I am supervised at all times! So I get the shame of all the staff in the school knowing that something is wrong then on top of that I get the shame of having to tell my family. I managed to get my brother to come in ( if no one came they would have taken them into care) he had to sign a contrat to say he would take full responsibility of me and the children until my husband got back from work. Anyway it ended up everyone back at my house, husband, mum, brother and social worker, kind of agreed it would be better if mum had the children so my husband could watch me 24/7 until I have an emergency assessment from the crisis team, and in that time i'm only allowed supervised visits with the children.
I cant believe this has happened, this is why I always keep my mouth shut, I feel so stupid and ashamed, everyone close to me now knows whats going on, my children have been taken away from me and I don't know whats going to happen next, i'm so scared I didnt sleep at all last night, unsurprisingly.
I'm sorry i've gone on a bit but I wanted to give the whole picture, I know there is nothing anyone can do but I could really do with some support right now.

Hey,

I'm so sorry this is happening, it must be so trumatising to go through this.
However, the proffesionals your working with know whats going on & are working out whats best for you & other people around you. Right now you may think its unfair, but one day you'll look back & know what they did was for the your saftey & others around you.

Can you see your children at anytime as long as you have someone with you?

Much love,
Helen

Thnaks for the reply, it means a lot, i'm feeling very alone and scared at the moment. Yes I think I can see the children anytime as long as we're supervised but they'll be at school now, i've got a social worker coming at 12.30 today (great!) and i'm waiting for a call from the crisis team to come and assess me I dont know what they expect me to say I dont trust any of them now. So I really dont know how the days going to pan out, I dont know if i'll get to see my kids at all today.:crying:

Why don't you feel you can talk to them? They are trying to help you as best they can.

What do you want to say to them? - Maybe you could write some things down? Maybe ask about the situation with your chrildren?

If you can't see them today, theres always tomorrow & you can always call them, try to look after yourself right now, you know they are safe with your mum. They won't forget about you, or anything like that, your their mum & they love you, they always will. No matter what happens.

I dont want to talk to them, I dont trust them anymore, I have nothing to say to anyone, this is my life and i'll deal with it however I feel necessary. I'm sorry its not your fault i'm really angry at the moment they have betrayed my trust, how can they possibly expect me to be honest with them after this.

*Hugs* That must be horrible for you!
I'm sorry you're going through this!!
I'm always here of you want to rant...or want someone to talk to.
Day or night!! *hugs*
Take care of yourself, please hun! Thinking of you!! xxx

im so sorry, please dont hesitate to PM me any time.

god im sorry

xx

Thanks guys, i'm sorry I haven't been able to come on here for a while, what a nightmare! My husband has had to sign a contract to say he will stay with me at all times and I feel like i'm suffocating, i'm making him go back to work tomorrow because its just making things harder.
I don't know whats happening with my children no one will say, there have been police at the school gates at drop off and colllection times to make sure I dont take them and its ment to be sports day tomorrow and I dont know if I can bring myself to go, I presume the police are going to be there I cant stand all the looks.
I tired of all this I cant think of anything else, I dont know what to do for the best anymore, if I tell the truth i'm not going to get my kids back for a while, if I lie well even if they did believe me i'm still not going to get any better. What a mess ( if it wasn't in enough of a mess already) the need to sh and the want to end it all feels overpowering I feel like i'm drowning and no one can save me.

*hugs*
im sorry about all the crap thats going on
have the crisis team assessed you yet?
xxxx

Yes i've been assessed ( I think) but I still dont know whats going on, when I asked them about my children they said its out of their hands, its down to the social worker what happens and I havent heard from her at all so i'm going to phone her today to find out whats going on, they were only ment to stay til i'd been assessed and I have and obviously they are not back with me yet so i'm presuming the assessment didn't go too well, but no one has told me anything. I feel like i'm in a whirlwind at the moment I have appointments all over the place, doctors, cpn, crisis team, and even tests at the hospital its all out of control and is making the whole situation even more stressful, and I dont know what to do for the best. I've also started taking medication, which I have never been able to do, but i've been left no choice because I know this is my last chance to get better, i'm petrified of whats going to happen next, it feels like one drama after another.