I give up
 

I am giving up on trying to work up the courage to talk to family/friends about my suicidal thoughts. I just cant do it. I've got a lot of pills and am going to get a bottle of tequila tomorrow then i will just go to the park. I know a quiet place there up on a hill surrounded by trees... i dont think anyone would notice me. i would just do it here but i promised my mom that i wouldn't. My only fear right now is failure...

i am not really sure why i am posting this here maybe i am looking for one last glimmer of hope... i dont know... :crying:

Hun, please don't do anything like that.

You CAN fight this. Do it for your mum. Just focus on that promise. Think 'Nope, I can't do that, I promised my mum I wouldn't, come on, I can beat this, I can'.

Are you seeing anyone at the moment? Professionals?

If not, I'd recommend doing so.

You sound really depressed and maybe they could help.

x PM box is always open hun.

no... i dont have a pdoc or a tdoc... i dont have any insurance

Oh, okay, well, is there any way you can get any help? At all?

If not, maybe try talking to a close friend/family member?