help
 

i am feeling an overwhelming urge to od. not enough to kill me just enough to make me feel ill. i will still have to go to work but even that isnt seeming to deter me. i dont want to, but i dont know if i can ignor it right now. I just cut adn while that gave me relief i still want to od. I just feel so hopeless right now. i feel like a failure no matter what i do. i can't cope with this any more. i am too tired.

No words hun as you know i am in the same place as you..

But lots of hugs...

Thank you. It means alot. It is soo hard. I am trying though.

You are doing wicked too =)

i keep counting :(

Try and have a look at the distractions section on here. There may be something that helps you. Another thing you could do is try and write down as detailed description as you possibly can about the room you are in. What has it got in it? What does it smell like? etc etc
You have been very brave trying so hard to fight the urges because its not easy. The unfortunate thing about overdoses is that you can never be 100% sure how your body will react each time you take stuff. Ive had times where Ive very large ods and had no effects, and times where Ive taken smaller ones and ended up in hospital severely ill. You cant always predict it. So although you say you do not wish to kill yourself, taking these pills could kill you. Is there any where saf you can lock them away until you go to work? Keep talking if it helps.
Stay strong, take care
xxx

there is no where i can put them as i do have to take some cause i havent taken my night meds yet, which puts me in a sticky situation. i have to take some but i have to try not to take more than i should. it is too much temptation. I am trying to distract myself. trying anything creative will trigger my thoughts that i am a complete failure because i am never good enough for myself so that is not something i should try.

thank you soo much for your post it means a lot to me. *hugs*

Keep counting hun... So proud of you...

*squishes*

thank you!

i am ok now. not having urges to od any more. thank you.