i think im asking for help...
 

my friend is lying in hospital and all i can think about is myself! what if I had done this differently? Does she care about ME? What if I was the one who had taken a combination of pills and tried to hang myself? Would she care about me?

the thing is, i should be more concerned for her. im just worried, and when im worried, i tend to self obsess.

i don't know WHY im writing this, or what good is going to come from it. all i know is i cant stop writing. i've always tried to hide my feelings and emotions, but now i've changed. if i hold it all in, i think ill end up like laura, and i dont want to. i dont want to try and commit suicide. i dont want to be troubled. i want to be happy, and its hard being happy in this world. see, im self obsessing again...

i just need someone to chat to, before i end up joining laura, because i cant take anymore. i hate my life and i hate myself.

hope you get better soon laura, please hunny xx

Hey, I think the reason you worry about yourself is because you know how it feels to be the friend of someone who has done something like what Laura has done and you wouldn't want to put her in your shoes..

Maybe that could be it?

Sorry if that's not much help.. It just seemed to make sense..

Hope you're ok and Laura, PM me if you need me :)

Kirsten xx

thanks, maybe that could be the reason, im not even sure myself. im just scared, in fact im terrified that i could lose her. she's the only person who understands me.