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-   -   Are your parent supportive? *possibly triggering* (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5497)

Shatterproof 20-06-2007 05:00 PM

Are your parent supportive? *possibly triggering*
 
My mum know's about my SH, well kind of... she thinks I've stopped but still this is still relavent.

I've heard many of you say that your parents support and help you. Well I have a different story.

My mother found out about my SH by reading my diary. I know she read it but she still won't admit it. Anyway back to the point, me and my mum are close, that's probaly due to the fact that my dad doesn't really play and active role in my life as a parent. But my mother is argumentative and to be honest quite cruel. I know it sounds harsh but its true.

I've never told anyone this before, but she can turn violent sometimes and has hit me on various occations. But she constentley is messing with my head. Giving snide remarks such as 'what are you gonna do, cut yourself?' and then walking off. I don't know exactley what to call it, but it makes me fell insignificant and depressed.

I'm sure this sin't a regular occurance. Are you parents supportive? Let me know. Helen.

ghosts in the machine 20-06-2007 05:20 PM

Originally my parents found out from my dance teacher, and by then going through my bedroom countless times they've read through all my poetry and diary entries.

They don't mention my self harming at all now, unless we're having an argument in which my mum will shout at me "what you gonna do now? go cut yourself?!" if I try to walk away from it.

If they suspect I've been SHing (and usually they're wrong) then I get the lecture about there's other people who are worse off than me and I should just stop doing "that unacceptable behaviour".


*shrugs* I'm used to it now.

y a s m i n 20-06-2007 07:06 PM

my parents are supportive sometimes....but can be harsh at times...they jus want to protect me i guess....
sometimes they shout at me though...probably because they dont understand....
take care
yasmin
xx

.ghost. 20-06-2007 07:36 PM

Argh! My internet just crashed so i'm having to write this again.

My mother isn't supportive of me one bit, and has often triggered me before. She knows sneers at me everytime i go into the bathroom (apparently I don't go the toilet, get changed, or have a bath anymore, I only go into the bathroom to cut). She looks at me like she's about to kill me sometimes, it's scary...

She has called me a freak or something along those lines and told me I won't ever get a job or even have a proper future becuase of my SI, so your not alone with parents who don't support you, i'm pretty sure there are many others who know how horrible it is to have unsupporive parents *hugs*.

Take care, PM me if you ever need to
xx

.ghost. 20-06-2007 07:38 PM

oh and my dad doesn't get angry as such, but he always goes on about it and give me lectures and the 'there are others worse off than you' speech. i'm not sure whether he understand how unhelpful it is or not..

Beth07 20-06-2007 08:28 PM

My mom is supportive of me, and tries to understand why I feel I want to harm myself which is hard for her, but she tries to understand, and she's always there for me, she's helped me a lot since I told her about my self harm.

Sitoxity 20-06-2007 08:38 PM

They know. They're far from supportive. If I cut, they act all dissapointed, and come up with "I thoguht you had stopped" This is EVERY time they find out I ahve. And that used to be alot. They never talk about it, sweep it under the carpet and act like it doesn't exist, just like me sometimes. Hell, my dad raided my room and took my blades and stuff away one day, and then my mum didn't understand why I was angry.

Porphy 20-06-2007 08:55 PM

My parents don't know. However, my Dad works in a young offender's institute were SH is rife among the young boys, so he comes home and makes snide comments about harmers and is really horrid, so it doesn't really make me want to say anything...

Parents can be lame :(

ghosts in the machine 20-06-2007 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sitoxity (Post 89361)
Hell, my dad raided my room and took my blades and stuff away one day, and then my mum didn't understand why I was angry.


yeah, that's happened a few times with my parents. Then they get angry that I'm angry. Then they get defensive; "We're worried sick that you'll hurt yourself! When do you ever think of us? What will people say if you need treatment? You're going to kill yourself with them!" And then I try to remove myself from the situation and the follow me around yelling even more. So helpful (!).

Silent Tears 20-06-2007 09:14 PM

My dad found it...he told people...but never did anything to help...he only ever mentioned it when he wanted to use it against me...which was often

I wish he was supportive...but no...those with supportive parents I feel are very lucky...however I'm sure it can be a pain too

Merc 21-06-2007 01:58 AM

in a word...no.
they freaked whenever i go in the hospital because they are scared who might find out. They even ask me not to tell anyone..cos god forbid the neighbors should find out. Even tho we live 250 miles away now.
Then thru therapy they were always wondering what we talked about..they are scared of what i might tell a psych. If i tell all.

This sums them up...when me and my sister were younger we were all n a camping trip, they didnt make reservations so it was full..we were young, hungry and tired. So my dad pulled over, beat the hell out of both of us and told us to shut up or he'd come back in the camper. they then listened thru the intercom to us crying and thought it was funny. They think this story is hilarious..they tell everyone and osmehow miss the shocked disgusted looks of all who hear it...arent family outings fun?!

They dont want to know but curiousity gets the better sometimes and they have to ask...i tell them nothing. At least i have friends and a wonderful hubby by my side.

romp

BeautyFiend 21-06-2007 12:20 PM

I'm sorry your mum reacts like that.
My sisters are very supportive and my mum tries her best.

That One Girl 21-06-2007 12:37 PM

my mother just tells to me sort it. trying to care. shes just scared that other peoplr will find out and question her. she screams at me if she sees new cuts, but only when they are obvious. i know she ignors it. she dosent talk to me about it but i don't want to talk to her so its all good.! its well confusing! lol

skindeep2painfulpleasures 21-06-2007 12:52 PM

my 1st oldest sister and my big brother are very supportive but my mum, dad and other 2 sisters arent the best in helping me out with all of my SH problems and ****, and my little sisters who are only 3 ask me how i got the marks i jst tell them that it's a red ball point pen that wont come off and it's stopped them from drawing on themselves tho....well i hate my parents so it's no supprise that their not supportive of me

d.rocky 21-06-2007 12:54 PM

My sister is really supportive and so is my mum she doesn't really understand but she tries. As for my step 'dad' since my mum told him he doesn't really talk to me I might get the odd hello but thats it. Then again thats no great loss!

x-dying-inside-x 21-06-2007 01:12 PM

at first my mum hated me because of it butwhen i went in hospital and that she got to understand it. weare very close now and she backs me 100%. my dad does not know and anything which is great!!!

Ami 21-06-2007 03:19 PM

My mam wasnt supportive at all, she took a dirty stress about it and then that was it. End of.
And nothing has been said for 3 years.
I know how down it can get you hun, cos my friends parents acted totally different when they found out about her SI, and i just wanted to be supported myself
take care hun x

broken 21-06-2007 05:01 PM

my parents know... but they've put it as a 'forbidden' subject and we're not allowed to talk about it in the house
kinda like... they kknow... but are in denial!
xxx

Mirabelle 21-06-2007 05:18 PM

my parents dismissed it as a "phase" a long time ago. keeping them in the dark now. It's the best solution for everyone.
Showing signs of weakness is unacceptable in this family.

Sarika 22-06-2007 05:49 PM

Hmm, my parents don't wish to hear about it. They reacted with total disgust when they found out I was cutting. "I can't even look at you" was one of their remarks. Anyway, they don't ask, and if they do I'll deny (obviously!). They are in denial about my SI and ED, it's kinda sad, but I also kinda like not having to disclose every detail of my life to them.


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