:'(
 

I cant do this anymore

and the one thing I f**king want and someone else gets to go instead, because Im not as sick as her.

Sammi I dont know you that well but Ive read many of your posts on here and it sounds like you are having a really horrible time right now, so Im sorry. But it has also struck me from your posts that you are a really strong person because whatever crap you've been through, its like you seem to have kept fighting. I know you probably feeling right rock bottom now, but when you hit that low the only way really is up. And you will get there.

Are you talking about being admitted to hospital??

I agree with what Becky said hun.
You are so strong, and i know you're having an absolutely awful time of it right now, but you can get through this.
Sweetie it's not that your not ill enough, because you are. It's just the way the system works, the person at the worst risk [be it because of her weight/suicidal tendencies] is admitted.
Sammi at the rate you are going it wont be long till you are admitted again. This isn't a way to go about it hun. If you really need help, let them know. Let your doctor know and be determined to beat this. To recover you have to want to hun.
Please try and think about what recovery means to you. I really hope you fight this feeling you have right now.
Because trust me when i say you are sick enough.
But being sick enough doesn't mean being admitted will help you. To want to get better, to get rid of this feeling, you have to fight it. To fight it with every bit of energy you have.
You deserve to get better Sammi. You deserve to feel better.
But you have to want to try to get better.

Please take care of yourself<3

I know I just spoke to you, but I want to tell you...

I LOVE YOU.. MORE

:crying:

Love you Sammi.

x

Sammi please baby fight this ily xxx

*holds tight*

you know how much we all care
lyl,

xxx

Im waiting for the hospital to call me,,,whats the betting they dont

*Squishes*

I really hope they do call x

They will sam, if not, call them again in a bit?
I love you
x

No one is answering see they dont care
They want me to die
All they care about is Becky

Sweetie thats not true! The fact that they are trying to get you a bed shows how much they think you need to be there. Doctors try and do every thing they can to keep you out of hospital. It really is a last resort these days. Try and keep focussing on the thought that they're going to gte you in as soon as they can. Then all that heavy burden of responsibility for your safety will be taken away from you and you'll be able to get some rest and some support and be looked after properly.

Please stay strong darling! I know you can. xx

I just tried calling everyone they are all ignoring me :crying:

:crying: its all because of her..IM NOT SICK ENOUGH
why are they ignoring me
What do they want me to do :crying:
I cant stand this

I seriously cant hold on
*screams*
Im crying
but why
argh

Sammi :crying: *holds you*
they DO care, have you called mel?
Maybe the person whos meant to be calling you is busy right now, there are loads of reasons why they havent called yet/ aren't answering, did they give you a time they would call?
love you
x

They said today and now its 5pm so they wont
I couldnt get hold of Mel again
I feel so desperate
How can they let her in when she doesnt even want to f**king recover, then theres me half f**king dead
argh
*cant stop crying*
They dont care
seriously they dont
I mean Mel couldnt even say anything to me the first time i called her because she has no bloody idea

try to calm down, go for a walk? take a hot bath?
can you try calling the samartians? they are really good www.samartains.org (sp?)
people do care & they do want to help you babe <3
i promise
try calling again at 10 maybe?

Thanks twiny *holds you tight*