RYL Forums - *STRONG SI AND SUICIDE TRIGS* Help Me, I Don't Know What To Do...

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*STRONG SI AND SUICIDE TRIGS* Help Me, I Don't Know What To Do...

I'm turning into a lunatic, I swear.
The text below is very triggering in my opinion, it explains... oh, I don't know...
And, well, view at your own risk. I can't say that enough. x

(MODS, SORRY IF I BROKEN ANY RULES BY POSTING THE TEXT BELOW. PM ME IF I HAVE. xx)

The following content has been hidden - Reason : TRIGGERING - VIEW AT OWN RISK

I don't know what's wrong with me... Why do I like SI'ing so much?
It's such a pain, by that I mean it's painful and it's a pain to keep secret as well.
My parents have already found out...
If they knew about RYL, I don't know what they'd do.
I can't cope anymore.
I need to SI, and when I can't do it I feel suicidal.
I have to take my blade everywhere with me, or keep something for emergencies, just so I can go into a public bathroom (or somewhere similar) and hurt myself.
How f***ing pathetic am I!!

The following content has been hidden - Reason : Triggering

I CAN'T STOP FEELING LIKE THIS.
WHAT DO I DO??

your not insane hun, your just not very well. like the majority of us here!!

clean your wounds up and pop a dressing on.

katie, one thing i will say and please take this seriously NEVER cut in a public places, not cos of what people will think or anything like that, but you will be puttin yourself at HUGE risk of infection!! so please take care xxxxxxxxx

infection? seriously?

Thanks for the reply, I cleaned my wounds and put dressings on. They stopped bleeding now.

Is risk of infection really that high in public places? I always clean my blades...
Sorry if I sound dumb, I am dumb x

Katie baby, ur not dumb ur the bestest nicest loveliest katie in the world.

love u babes

n dw ur nt the only one, i didn't even knw there was nething wrong with not cleanin blades.

x x x x

mj

x x x x

well you dont know what crap is lying around, at least at your home you know its clean.

mj as soon as you've used a blade, (ideally only use it once but know this aint poss) you should clean it and store in clean dry place. as soon as blade been open it is exposed to the air and therefore bacteria.

i dont want to worry people, just if you are gonna cut its best to do it in the safest, cleanest way to protect yourself :)

Thanks everyone for replying...
But I kinda need to OD.. BADLY.
I'm going over to ASDA to buy some painkillers now.
Listen guys, I don't WANT to die but I don't want to live either.

*cries*

katie, NO! dont go to ASDA hun. you dont need to OD, its not gonna help anything.

please go and speak to your GP about how bad your feeling at the mo, sweet you are so young, life can be good!!

x

I went to ASDA, and bought some.
BUT I HAVEN'T USED THEM.

I made a Doctor's appointment over the internet (you can do that now hehe) for Wednesday. I also have an appointment with my counsellor on Wednesday too... hopefully they can help me feel better.

I think the reason I feel weird is because I've just come off Prozac. I am going to ask the Doctor if he can prescribe me new meds... and quick, before I do something stupid. x

good, well done!, but go and put the pills somewhere that isnt easily accessible.

did the doctor not talk to you about diff meds when he/she took you off the prozac? when you go to the counsellor and GP, make sure you are as honest as poss with them so they can help you as best poss
x

Well the doctor said if I was still harming myself and had a depressed mood in two weeks (which is now) he would think about new meds.

Which is good, I guess.

I will.

I have given the pills to my friend who is staying with me, and have instructed her not to give them to me no matter how much I beg...

thats good sweetie and ive glad you've got someone staying with you.

take care
good luck on wed, let us know how you get on x

Aww thank you for all the support. My friend went out, I found the pills and I kinda took some of them.

Not very many, and I'm fine.
Don't worry.
I posted in the FA Forum.
x

Even a small overdose can still be fatal, you need to go to hosptial, or at least go to your gp in the moring, just because you may feel fine, doesnt mean you will be.