I want my heart to stop beating.
I want my lungs to stop breathing.
I want my brain to stop thinking.
But the thing is, I don't want to have to commit suicide for that to happen.
It would hurt to many people.
Especially now that I'm volunteering in the hospital.
Too many people would be affected if I killed myself.
I want to be hit by a car.
Or have a heart attack.
I need to be admitted, but don't know how to make that happen.
I need to be admitted for something innocent so I can't SI.
It NEEDS to change.